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It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to those of their parents, instead of choosing jobs that are completely different from their parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to those of their parents, instead of choosing jobs that are completely different from their parents. v. 1
As everything of life like as a coin that has two different sides, people must weigh the pros and cons before jumping to conclusion. After all, each and every questions or topic requires careful deliberation in that there are always multiple variables to a truth. Even though some may adamantly believe that children should choose jobs that are similar to those of their parents, I strongly think such opinion lack coherence to some extent. In my humble opinion, It would be more practical for kids to select occupations that are dissimilar to their mothers and fathers for the following reasons. First and foremost, the majority of individuals would agree with the nation that opting to pursue the profession that is not similar to those one’s parents can engender a myriad of advantages. The main reason behind this rationale is that each and every person should seek out jobs that are the most apposite to their aptitudes, meaning that one parent' s job may not be suitable. In addition to this by working in an unrelated field, children will have a chance to expand their social network by befriending people of various social and cultural backgrounds. To illustrate more thoroughly, My older brother Peter is working currently as an account in one of the most prestigious and respected accounting firms in New Mexico. However, when Peter gets accepted to a college, he originally planned on the following footsteps of our father, who works as a mechanical engineer. My older brother, our dad and I had always a good relationship and we frequently did many things together, such as playing sports and watching movies ever since Peter and I were young boys. Thus naturally Peter wanted to be like our dad and choose mechanical Engineering as his major when he was a freshman in his university. Peter was never a fan of physics and complicated calculations, so the time he spent in engineering was a big struggle for him. Having a hard time maintaining a good grade average, Peter decided to switch major and chose to account as he is always very organized, net and had the desire to work in business. Consequently, for a person like my older brother, getting a job similar to my dad would’ve been a terrible choice that would’ve decreased the quality of his life. All in all, we can’t and should n’t overlook the upside of opting to take a profession that is not similar to those of one’s parents. On top of this choice, choosing this job that is similar to those of one’s mothers and fathers can result in unfavorable ramifications. In the eyes of many people present day society, an individual should separate family from work if possible as not doing so can create a lot of unnecessary conflicts and issues. Moreover, children may also feel a tremendous amount of pressure and burdens while working if their parents have jobs in a similar profession. After all, some people make eventually comparison between children and their parents and have unreasonably of high expectation if one’s parents are very successful. A great example of this would be the children of prominent athletes and celebrities. The majority of kids those have parents that are recognized and accomplished figures feel a ton of pressure and encounter difficulties due to their parent' s fame. Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player to have ever set foot on the hardwood floor, has two sons who decided to follow his footsteps and become basketball players. The fact that Jordan is their dad was both a blessing and a curse. They were fortunate enough to have the most talented and very versatile basketball player as their mentor, but the downsides were that Jordan is perfectionist, who is ruthless in competition, and that all the fans of Michael Jordan either had ridiculous expectations toward his kids or simply doubted that they would become as great as Michael Jordan. As we speak, not many people know about what Michael Jordan’s son is doing since they did not make into the NBA and most likely doing other things unrelated to basketball. The same goes to the children of celebrities like Robert Bruce, Jack Nicolson and etcetera. The aforementioned people are world stars who accomplished feats that are simply unattainable mostly individual. As a result, pursuing singing or acting would be a daunting task for their children as they know they will always be mentioned as someone’s child instead of their own identity. Long story short, it is clear as a day to me that choosing jobs that are similar to those of one ’s parents can end up being detrimental. In summation, yea, it’s virtually impossible to provide a completely satisfying answer to an open-ended question. Although the jury may be out on this given essay topic, we can come to a mutual agreement that it may be better for children to choose jobs that are dissimilar to those of their mothers and fathers due to the reasons and details mentioned above.
As everything of life like as a coin that has two
different
sides,
people
must
weigh the pros and cons
before
jumping to conclusion.
After all
, each and every
questions
or topic requires careful deliberation in that there are always multiple variables to a truth.
Even though
some
may
adamantly
believe that
children
should choose
jobs
that are
similar
to those of their
parents
, I
strongly
think
such opinion lack coherence to
some
extent. In my humble opinion, It would be more practical for kids to select occupations that are dissimilar to their mothers and
fathers
for the following reasons.

First
and foremost, the majority of individuals would
agree
with the nation that opting to pursue the profession
that is
not
similar
to those one’s
parents
can engender a myriad of advantages. The main reason behind this rationale is that each and every person should seek out
jobs
that are the most apposite to their aptitudes, meaning that one
parent&
#039; s
job
may not be suitable.
In addition
to this by working in an unrelated field,
children
will have a chance to expand their social network by befriending
people
of various social and cultural backgrounds. To illustrate more
thoroughly
, My older brother Peter is working
currently
as an account in one of the most prestigious and respected accounting firms in New Mexico.
However
, when Peter
gets
accepted
to a college, he
originally
planned on the following footsteps of our
father
,
who
works as a mechanical engineer. My older brother, our
dad
and I had always a
good
relationship and
we
frequently
did
many
things together, such as playing sports and watching movies ever since Peter and I were young boys.
Thus
naturally
Peter wanted to be like our
dad
and choose mechanical Engineering as his major when he was a freshman in his university. Peter was never a fan of physics and complicated calculations,
so
the time he spent in engineering was a
big
struggle for him. Having a
hard
time maintaining a
good
grade average, Peter decided to switch major and chose to account as he is always
very
organized, net and had the desire to work in business.
Consequently
, for a person like my older brother, getting a
job
similar
to my
dad
would’ve been a terrible choice that would’ve decreased the quality of his life. All in all, we can’t and
should n’t
overlook the upside of opting to take a profession
that is
not
similar
to those of one’s parents.

On top of this choice, choosing this
job
that is
similar
to those of one’s mothers and
fathers
can result in unfavorable ramifications. In the eyes of
many
people
present day society, an individual should separate family from work if possible as not doing
so
can create
a lot of
unnecessary conflicts and issues.
Moreover
,
children
may
also
feel a tremendous amount of pressure and burdens while working if their
parents
have
jobs
in a
similar
profession.
After all
,
some
people
make
eventually
comparison between
children
and their
parents
and have
unreasonably
of high expectation if one’s
parents
are
very
successful. A great example of this would be the
children
of prominent athletes and celebrities. The majority of kids those have
parents
that
are recognized
and accomplished figures feel a ton of pressure and encounter difficulties due to their
parent&
#039; s fame. Michael Jordan, the greatest
basketball
player to have ever set foot on the hardwood floor, has two sons
who
decided to follow his footsteps and become
basketball
players. The fact that Jordan is their
dad
was both a blessing and a curse. They were fortunate
enough
to have the most talented and
very
versatile
basketball
player as their mentor,
but
the downsides
were
that Jordan is perfectionist,
who
is ruthless in competition, and that all the fans of Michael Jordan either had ridiculous expectations toward his kids or
simply
doubted that they would become as great as Michael Jordan. As we speak, not
many
people
know about what Michael Jordan’s son is doing since they did not
make
into the NBA and most likely doing other things unrelated to
basketball
. The same goes to the
children
of celebrities like Robert Bruce, Jack
Nicolson
and etcetera. The aforementioned
people
are world stars
who
accomplished feats that are
simply
unattainable
mostly
individual.
As a result
, pursuing singing or acting would be a daunting task for their
children
as they know they will always
be mentioned
as someone’s child
instead
of their
own
identity. Long story short, it is
clear
as a day to me that choosing
jobs
that are
similar
to those of one ’s
parents
can
end
up being detrimental.

In summation, yea, it’s
virtually
impossible to provide a completely satisfying answer to an open-ended question. Although the jury may be out on this
given
essay topic, we can
come
to a mutual agreement that it may be better for
children
to choose
jobs
that are dissimilar to those of their mothers and
fathers
due to the reasons and
details
mentioned above.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to those of their parents, instead of choosing jobs that are completely different from their parents. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
837 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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