Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.8

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 8
Nowadays, the rate at which individuals stay a year at home within the period of completing high school and enrolling in college has become widely popular. Therefore, this essay will discuss the merits and demerits of this action. To begin, the advantages are noteworthy. One of these evident benefits is that it gives an opportunity to acquire a vocational skill, such as hairdressing, fixing of computer hardware and installing software. The knowledge gained during this time would be very useful in the future. For example, in Singapore, teenager often wait for one year before entering university and learn skills to enable them to make extra cash in school. Another notable merits are that it gives sufficient time to plan and decide on a suitable career path. This means the person has plenty time to select the best course to study in the university. For instance, a 2018 special survey by West African bureau of statistics reported that in the region, 80 percent of students accepted to have selected a better course from staying at home a year before entering higher institution. This reveals the extent to which one year off has significantly helped them make a better choice in their future. On the other hand, the disadvantages of this decision are abound. Firstly, spending most part of the day at home can be monotonous. The individual tend to be bored quite often because of less engaging activities or lack of responsibilities. Moreover, the individual can also be involved in crime related offence. This trend is expected to continue if nothing urgently is done. For example, according to a report by the New York times, there is a significant increase in crime for the past 5 years and most of it is attributed to persons who are waiting to enter university. In conclusion, waiting one year to enroll into college has its advantages and disadvantages. The benefits include sufficient time to plan for a suitable career path and acquire vocational skill, while the negative effects are boredom and involving in crime.
Nowadays, the rate at which individuals stay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
at home within the period of completing high school and enrolling in college has become
widely
popular.
Therefore
, this essay will discuss the merits and demerits of this action.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the advantages are noteworthy. One of these evident benefits is that it gives an opportunity to acquire a vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, such as hairdressing, fixing of computer hardware and installing software. The knowledge gained during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in the future.
For example
, in Singapore,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wait for one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering university and learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
extra cash in school. Another notable merits are that it gives sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to plan and decide on a suitable career path. This means the person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to select the best course to study in the university.
For instance
, a 2018 special survey by West African bureau of statistics reported that in the region, 80 percent of students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to have selected a better course from staying at home a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering higher institution. This reveals the extent to which one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better choice in their future.

On the other hand
, the disadvantages of this decision are
Consider using a past participle here: "abounded".
abound
.
Firstly
, spending most part of the day at home can be monotonous. The individual tend to
be bored
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less engaging activities or lack of responsibilities.
Moreover
, the individual can
also
be involved
in crime related
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
. This trend is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue if nothing
urgently
is done
.
For example
, according to a report by the New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, there is a significant increase in crime for the past 5 years and most of it
is attributed
to persons who are waiting to enter university.

In conclusion
, waiting one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to enroll into college has its advantages and disadvantages. The benefits include sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to plan for a suitable career path and acquire vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, while the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects are boredom and involving in crime.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts