Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this. Give examples v.10

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this. Give examples v. 10
Taking a break, usually a year between finishing school and resuming education has rapidly become widespread. This break is quite beneficial to some as it affords many the opportunity to work and save funds. However, there are some associated drawbacks. Most students decide to take a 12 month break before the onset of university academic study, a leave that comes with various benefits. Firstly, it enables them to obtain a summer job that allows them to save up funds and become financially stable, at the same time gain experience. For instance, my sister took up a catering appointment at a bakery, where she is involved in the art of baking cakes, biscuits and bread. Ultimately, she is at an advantage, gaining both financially and obtaining a baking experience. Secondly, a few students may decide to take up holiday classes involving the course to be lectured in school. As such, these students are mentally prepared at the resumption of academic work and excels greatly. On the other hand, students who decide on a 365 day summer may take to hanging around with bad friends in the neighbourhood. As a result, they get involved in vices such as smoking, drinking and theft. This costly decision may result in an ill health or loss of life. For example, a family friend, whose son decided on a year relaxation from school work got involved with some cultist in his neighbourhood and lost his life during a shootout. Hence, a 12 month break off, prior to becoming an undergraduate can be disastrous. In conclusion, the character of the activity to be carried out by students who decide to take a 365 days holiday from academic work prior to resumption of university study should be well guided by parents or tutors, as this decision could either be beneficial or deadly.
Taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
,
usually
a year between finishing school and resuming education has
rapidly
become widespread. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
is quite beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
as it affords
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and save funds.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
associated drawbacks.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
to take a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "12-month"
12 month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the onset of university academic study, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with various benefits.
Firstly
, it enables them to obtain a summer job that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to save up funds and become
financially
stable, at the same time gain experience.

For instance
, my sister took up a catering appointment at a bakery, where she
is involved
in the art of baking cakes, biscuits and bread.
Ultimately
, she is at an advantage, gaining both
financially
and obtaining a baking experience.

Secondly
, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
to take up holiday classes involving the course to
be lectured
in school. As such, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are mentally prepared at the resumption of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and excels
greatly
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
on a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "365-day"
365 day
summer may take to hanging around with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
friends in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in vices such as smoking, drinking and theft. This costly decision may result in an ill health or loss of life.
For example
, a family friend, whose son decided on a year relaxation from school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
involved with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultist in his
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and lost his life during a shootout.
Hence
, a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "12-month"
12 month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
off, prior to becoming an undergraduate can be disastrous.

In conclusion
, the character of the activity to
be carried
out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
to take a 365 days holiday from academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
prior to resumption of university study should be well guided by parents or tutors, as this decision could either be beneficial or deadly.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this. Give examples v. 10

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts