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Some people are born to be the leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people are born to be the leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. v. 2
Some people argue that people are born to be leaders and others say that leadership can be learned. I strongly believe it is an assumption that leaders are born. Leadership qualities can be learned not as a process-oriented way but as an inspirational thought. The people who lead a group, company, or nation inherits the administrative qualities from the childhood. It can be observed that the child starts communicating with the children around. For example, In schools, a leader grabs the opportunity to monitor the class. They provide a helping attitude toward society. They even start analysing the issues and try to get the solutions for a good cause. In India, we have many national leaders born creations like Mahatma Gandhi. Hence, people assume leaders are born and do not know the facts they have faced many failures. On the other hand, leadership qualities can be learned only by the dedication, hard work, commitment, motivating groups with positive attitudes, confidence. One should possess determination, experience, intelligence, and practice skills to overcome the right challenges. For example, a person inspired by a political leader tries to lead the neighbourhood issues to the government and would be helpful to bring reforms in the nation. I have experience related to leadership. My fore grandfather was a freedom fighter and I am the follower and not born as a leader. Finally, I strongly conclude that people are not born leaders and are made with the situations around with a never give up attitude.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
can
be learned
. I
strongly
believe it is an assumption that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are born
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
qualities can
be learned
not as a process-oriented way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as an inspirational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who lead a group,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, or nation inherits the administrative qualities from the childhood. It can
be observed
that the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
communicating with the children around.
For example
, In schools, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
grabs the opportunity to monitor the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. They provide a helping attitude toward society. They even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the issues and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the solutions for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cause. In India, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
born creations like Mahatma Gandhi.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are born
and do not know the facts they have faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
failures.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
qualities can
be learned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the dedication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, commitment, motivating groups with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitudes, confidence. One should possess determination, experience, intelligence, and practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to overcome the right challenges.
For example
, a person inspired by a political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
tries to lead the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
issues to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and would be helpful to bring reforms in the nation. I have experience related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
. My fore grandfather was a freedom
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fighter and
I am the follower and not born as a leader.

Finally
, I
strongly
conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
and
are made
with the situations around with a never give up attitude.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people are born to be the leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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