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It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.4

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. with this view? v. 4
Nowadays, mobile phones have become very popular and easily available throughout the world. This has become a part of our everyday life. Most of the students from across the globe have access to smartphones and they have been using these electronic devices not only for educational purposes but also for personal uses. However, I believe, that mobile phones should not be allowed in classrooms, especially in primary level because it distracts the student's mind and also affect the effective interaction. One of the main reasons for not allowing mobile phones during classes is that, it distracts the students' concentration and also creates chaos in class. This causes disruption and they are found cheating on tests, taking inappropriate photographs and playing mobile games. Rather than paying attention to teachers, they are spending more time on mobile phones. As a result, they don’t understand what the topic is about, obtains poor grades in exams. For instance, during my final year of undergraduate studies, there was a good student in my batch, who failed in his favourite subject because of mobile chatting during the lecture times. So to prevent distractions caused by mobile phones, these kinds of electronic devices should be kept out of the classroom and also some rules should be followed. Another reason is a disturbance in lecture, discussion between teacher and students. Although they can browse various sites using mobile data or Wi-Fi to get the information discussed in the classroom, but they might miss the main important points and valuable advice, discussed by their teacher. In addition, they might waste too much time visiting the non-authentic sites. For instance, there are also many personal blogs and websites where the student cannot get a relevant understanding of the topic. To sum up, despite having a few pros of using the mobile devices in classrooms, they must not be allowed to use their cell phones so that in the future this can help them in achieving better results and build bright career. Furthermore, this also maintains a better learning and teaching environment for both the students and teachers.
Nowadays, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular and
easily
available throughout the world. This has become a part of our everyday life. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from across the globe have access to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
smartphones and
they have been using these electronic devices not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for educational purposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.
However
, I believe, that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in classrooms,
especially
in primary level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it distracts the student's mind and
also
affect the effective interaction.

One of the main reasons for not allowing mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during classes is that, it distracts the students' concentration and
also
creates chaos in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This causes
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disruption and
they
are found
cheating on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, taking inappropriate photographs and playing mobile games.
Rather
than paying attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, they are spending more time on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
As a result
, they don’t understand what the topic is about, obtains poor grades in exams.
For instance
, during my final year of undergraduate studies, there was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in my batch, who failed in his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mobile chatting during the lecture times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
distractions caused by mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, these kinds of electronic devices should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
out of the classroom and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be followed
.

Another reason is a disturbance in lecture, discussion between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Although they can browse various sites using mobile data or Wi-Fi to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information discussed in the classroom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they might miss the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points and valuable advice, discussed by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
In addition
, they might waste too much time visiting the non-authentic sites.
For instance
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
personal blogs and websites where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a relevant understanding of the topic.

To sum up, despite having a few pros of using the mobile devices in classrooms, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in the future this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in achieving better results and build bright career.
Furthermore
, this
also
maintains a better learning and teaching environment for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. with this view? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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