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It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent you agree or disagree? v.5

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. v. 5
Cell phones and many other devices such as laptops, i-pads have significantly changed the way pupils learn and understand. It is believed that use of such learning-tools can be distracting for students. However, how these appliances affect us completely depends on how we use them and for how long we stick to them. In my opinion, these tools provide help to teachers as well to learners as many learning aids can be incorporated into these devices and help in connecting teacher and student. Use of Android phones and other devices such as calculators, i-pads etcetera can be beneficial to the learners in many ways as they can prove to be a great learning aid. It is a well-known fact that pupils learn better by looking at videos than at the pictures. Animations made out of such technology are a great way to understand high school topics such as working of motor or generator which are very difficult to make understand students using pictures and text only. Furthermore, phonetic chart, pronunciation audios can be added by the language teachers and diagrams, maps, charts can also be downloaded in these devices to enhance learning. Additionally, this technology has increased connectivity in a classroom like situations, it is much easier to distribute classroom notes and homework in an email or on a website than in printed form. On the contrary, it can cause hassle in the classroom as well. For example, it can divert the minds of children towards other things such as social networking, mobile games etcetera. Moreover, the use of these tools can cause hassle in the classroom as well if there are no regulations on how to use these devices. In conclusion, mobile phones should be allowed in schools despite their disadvantages because their merits are more important than their demerits. Some rules can be imposed to regulate the use of cellular phones, i-pads, laptops etcetera so that decorum of the school is not disturbed.
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as laptops, i-pads have
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way pupils learn and understand. It
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such learning-tools can be distracting for students.
However
, how these appliances affect us completely depends on how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them and for how long we stick to them. In my opinion, these tools provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to teachers
as well
to learners as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
learning aids can
be incorporated
into these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in connecting teacher and student.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of Android
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as calculators, i-pads etcetera can be beneficial to the learners in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways as they can prove to be a great learning aid.
It is a well-known fact that
pupils learn better by looking at videos than at the pictures. Animations made out of such technology are a great way to understand high school topics such as working of motor or generator which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
understand students using pictures and text
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Furthermore
, phonetic chart, pronunciation audios can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
by the language teachers and diagrams, maps, charts can
also
be downloaded
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to enhance learning.

Additionally
, this technology has increased connectivity in a classroom like situations, it is much easier to distribute classroom notes and homework in an email or on a website than in printed form.

On the contrary
, it can cause hassle in the classroom
as well
.
For example
, it can divert the minds of children towards other things such as social networking, mobile
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
etcetera.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these tools can cause hassle in the classroom
as well
if there are no regulations on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these devices.

In conclusion
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in schools despite their disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their merits are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than their demerits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
can
be imposed
to regulate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, i-pads, laptops etcetera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that decorum of the school is not disturbed.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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