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It is argued that getting married before finishing school or getting a job is not a good choice. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is argued that getting married before finishing school or getting a job is not a good choice. v. 1
Animals are the significant part of our environment, while some time human beings depends on animals for a couple of activities. Some people's believe that animal examination should be stopped as it become a criminal work. I strongly agree with the statement that this type of criminal work should be halted. In this essay we will discuss some of the reasons related to my opinion and how it affects us all. To start with, many animal experiments are done in the testing of cosmetic or medicines to ensure the safety of products before selling to the humans. Which is completely wrong, animals have the basic right to survive and be protected by human. They are fragile living thing unable to protect themselves from the peoples who use them for their benefit. Due to this reason many of the animals are in the blink of extinction, which cause high severity damage to our ecosystem. Secondly, due to product analysis of animals they are tortured for a long time from the side effects of the chemical For instance, the cosmetic company, which invent new chemical cosmetic and testing to the monkeys in the lab room to make sure that their product is safe for clients, causes more than fifty monkeys to face serious allergic without healing the animals. As a result, a large number of monkeys that has serious sickness end up deathly killed due to the chemical in the testing process. Which set a bad example for all commercial business to brutal the animals and make profits from those cruel actions. Furthermore, this will cause young generation to perceive the method of a testing product with animals as the common things which decline the moral value in human. In conclusion, In my opinion, although some experiments required animals to be part of their testing process to ensure the success of products, all actions that might cause a serious effect to animals must be banned as it causes extinction among animals and declines the moral value in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are the significant part of our environment, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time human beings depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for a couple of activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
The word 'believe' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "belief"?
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
examination should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it become a criminal work. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that this type of criminal work should
be halted
. In this essay we will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons related to my opinion and how it affects us all.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
experiments
are done
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
of cosmetic or medicines to ensure the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
selling to the humans. Which is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have the basic right to survive and
be protected
by human. They are fragile living thing unable to protect themselves from the peoples who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for their benefit. Due to this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in the blink of extinction, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
high severity damage to our ecosystem.

Secondly
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
analysis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
they
are tortured
for a long time from the side effects of the chemical
For instance
, the cosmetic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, which invent new chemical cosmetic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
to the monkeys in the lab room to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is safe for clients,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
more than fifty monkeys to face serious allergic without healing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
As a result
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
monkeys that has serious sickness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up deathly killed due to the chemical in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
process. Which set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
example for all commercial business to brutal the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profits from those cruel actions.
Furthermore
, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
young generation to perceive the method of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as the common things which decline the moral value in human.

In conclusion
, In my opinion, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experiments required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to be part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
process to ensure the success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, all actions that might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a serious effect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
extinction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and declines the moral value in society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is argued that getting married before finishing school or getting a job is not a good choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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