Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people try to prevent them from happening. Do you agree or disagree with it? v.1

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people try to prevent them from happening. with it? v. 1
It is often considered by some that, there were not much importance of the Olympic games in this century. However, in this essay fairly disagree with the statement because, sports events had a vivid place in peoples mind and the nations too. It is not a valid reason that the technical improvements and innovative inventions of 21st century replace the value of an international sport event like Olympic traits like enhancement in physical, financial, social, and so on. The foremost reason for disagreement that, sports events make people's capability of the multitude of talent check up and entertainment activity rather than the materialistic technical items. People who are opposing the Olympic game may be by the effects of games in computer or smartphone video games and so on. Physical thrive in different kinds of sports items often identify the world number one fast tracker, players, and so on. Secondly, Olympic games would broaden the horizon not only the players but also the viewers from various nationalities all over the world. Such attributes would not get through 21 century technological developments. For instance, many people ascertain the knowledge regarding various sports items and the wide range of nationalities presence would be available in one stadium. Likewise, Olympic games would enhance the financial status of many nations and Olympians. Since, make use of such programs would flourish the economy by tourists, players, delegates and far distant inhabitants of a host country. Despite that, such events may devoid of cultural diversity and enhance the trade and commerce to some extent. Even though, in twenty first century importance of economic development has been inevitable by many aspects. To sum up, although, there was controversy related to Olympic events, the emerging criteria which people would not get by technology could be achieved by the numerous sports items held on Olympic day. Since, anyone could not suggest to avoid such games.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that, there were not much importance of the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in this century.
However
, in this essay
fairly
disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
had a vivid place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
mind and the nations too. It is not a valid reason that the technical improvements and innovative inventions of 21st century replace the value of an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
like Olympic traits like enhancement in physical, financial, social, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

The foremost reason for disagreement that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's capability of the multitude of talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
up and entertainment activity
rather
than the materialistic technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are opposing the Olympic game may be by the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in computer or smartphone video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Physical thrive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
identify the world number one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
tracker, players, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
would broaden the horizon not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the viewers from various nationalities all over the world. Such attributes would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
technological developments.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ascertain the knowledge regarding various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and the wide range of nationalities presence would be available in one stadium.

Likewise
, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
would enhance the financial status of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations and Olympians. Since,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such programs would flourish the economy by tourists, players, delegates and far distant inhabitants of a host country. Despite that, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
may devoid of cultural diversity and enhance the trade and commerce to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Even though
, in twenty
first
century importance of economic development has been inevitable by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.

To sum up, although, there was controversy related to Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, the emerging criteria which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by technology could
be achieved
by the numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
held on Olympic day.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, anyone could not
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest avoiding".
suggest to avoid
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people try to prevent them from happening. with it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts