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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people try to prevent them from happening. Do you agree or disagree with it? v.2

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people try to prevent them from happening. with it? v. 2
Some people believe that the occurrence of extinction of species is compatible with rules of nature. Personally, however, a sharp disagreement is my point of view as the speed of extinction becomes faster than the pre-human times. It is true that according to science journals, the earth suffered a major extinction event over 65 million years ago because of meteoroids disaster, which wiped out to 76% of ancient fauna and flora system. Nevertheless, these environmental factors are not the critical contributor to the vanishing of certain species nowadays. In fact, industrial and residential activities of human beings have been devastating the natural habitats of wildlife, thousand tons of various toxic pollutants are drained into the atmosphere, domestic rivers, and sea during date and night. Consequently, the species are going extinct faster 1000 times than their natural rate, calculated from the fossil data, according to the Center of Biological Diversity. Furthermore, the extinction also affects negatively the loss of food web and biodiversity. In detail, the animal world divides into two main kinds, predator and prey. Hence, a severe decline of prey in the ecosystem is able to cause the unbalance of other related species. In the USA in the 1890s, for example, a fish called “harelip sucker” enjoyed eating the snails. However, as the waste was discharged into the rivers where they lived, the snails ceased to exist, as a result, fish also starved to death. So, preventing from extinction is to ensure global food security as well. In conclusion, pursuant to the above analysis, the extinction mostly is due to human-caused, but no longer a natural process, it would be human turn in the future if no actions or proper measures from now.
Some
people
believe that the occurrence of
extinction
of species is compatible with
rules
of nature.
Personally
,
however
, a sharp disagreement is my point of view as the speed of
extinction
becomes faster than the
pre-human
times.

It is true that according to science journals, the earth suffered a major
extinction
event
over 65 million years ago
because
of meteoroids disaster, which wiped out to 76% of ancient fauna and flora system.
Nevertheless
, these environmental factors are not the critical contributor to the vanishing of certain species nowadays. In fact, industrial and residential activities of human beings have been devastating the natural habitats of wildlife,
thousand
tons of various toxic pollutants
are drained
into the atmosphere, domestic rivers, and sea during date and night.
Consequently
, the species are going extinct faster 1000 times than their natural rate, calculated from the fossil data, according to the Center of Biological Diversity.

Furthermore
, the
extinction
also
affects
negatively
the loss of food web and biodiversity. In detail, the animal world divides into two main kinds, predator and prey.
Hence
, a severe decline of prey in the ecosystem is able to cause the unbalance of other related species. In the USA in the 1890s,
for example
, a fish called “harelip sucker” enjoyed eating the snails.
However
, as the waste
was discharged
into the rivers where they
lived
, the snails ceased to exist,
as a result
, fish
also
starved to death.
So
, preventing from
extinction
is to ensure global food security
as well
.

In conclusion
, pursuant to the above analysis, the
extinction
mostly
is due to human-caused,
but
no longer a natural process, it would be human turn in the future if no actions or proper measures from
now
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people try to prevent them from happening. with it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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