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Some people think the media should not report details of crime to the public. What extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people think the media should not report details of crime to the public. What extent v. 1
Due to advancement of media, we can share different types of news to the public. We get our day to day updates through different news channels. Nowadays crime scenes are found frequently in our country. I agree with people that media should not report or show all the details of crime to the public. Although, nowadays crime rate is extended, but some media support and make them latest news, which can effect to local public life. To commence with, our new generation gets all the updates from media in few seconds through social media and many other applications through their gadgets. Media reports this kind of news to increase their TRP of show. By hearing such news our teenagers think that the government is less interested in developing the economy of the country. We have been getting reports of such cases like robbery, murder, rape, acid attack and many more, which indirectly affects the public mind. Thus, media should show least crime reports or show only the necessary headline to the public. Secondly, it is necessary to know crime happening in country and media is the best way to find it. Its help us to spread awareness about crime cases to our younger generation, especially girls. Media help us to know all crimes which happen to the entire world in a different manner. Thus, the media should report correct and precise information about crime details rather than incomplete news. They should be restricted to imposed to reduce such publication by the government. In the conclusion, I would like to pen down, saying that the media is a major platform about knowing problems happening worldwide, but sometimes it can be misleading for society. Thus, the media should follow the government guidelines to reports the crime cases.
Due to advancement of
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media
, we can share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
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news
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
our
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day to day
updates through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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news
channels. Nowadays
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crime
scenes
are found
frequently
in our country. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. Although, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
is extended
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
support and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, which can effect to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
life.

To commence with, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
all the updates from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in few seconds through social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other applications through their gadgets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to increase their TRP of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
. By hearing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is less interested in developing the economy of the country. We have been getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
of such cases like robbery, murder, rape, acid attack and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, which
indirectly
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
mind.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the necessary headline to the public.

Secondly
, it is necessary to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
happening in country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the best way to find it. Its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to spread awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases to our younger generation,
especially
girls.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to know all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which happen to the entire world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
manner.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
correct and precise information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
rather
than incomplete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. They should
be restricted
to imposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such publication by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In the conclusion, I would like to pen down, saying that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a major platform about knowing problems happening worldwide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can be misleading for society.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
guidelines to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people think the media should not report details of crime to the public. What extent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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