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It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books". Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v.6

It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books". Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v. 6
It is thought by some people that children must spend their leisure time participating in organized group activities, while others argue that they must plan things to do on their own. Although group activities have their benefits, I believe that children should be responsible for occupying themselves. On the one hand, some people believe that children can benefit from group activities organized by their parents. Such activities enable children to play with their peers in a safe environment under their parents’ supervision. Playing with other children indoors protects children from being exposed to dangerous people who might kidnap or murder them, especially in dangerous countries. Another reason is preventing children who have social anxiety from being withdrawn since these activities force them to socialize. As a consequence, the symptoms of anxiety might be reduced and children can gain confidence. However, this method does not benefit children in the long run as they become dependent on others. On the other hand, other people argue that children should be encouraged to plan their free time activities on their own, and I agree. Firstly, learning how to plan their leisure time nurtures creativity and encourages them to discover their hidden talents and interests. For instance, instead of being forced to join group activities, children can try different hobbies by themselves and find a hobby that they enjoy, which might even turn into a profession when they grow up. Secondly, it fosters independence as children can grow up to be adults who are self-reliant. If children relied on others to fill their free time, they would find it hard to be independent when they grow up. In conclusion, while people have varying perspectives, I believe that encouraging children to occupy their free time on their own is vital for their personal development.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
participating in organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, while others argue that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plan things to do on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have their benefits, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be responsible for occupying themselves.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
organized by their parents. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play with their peers in a safe environment under their parents’ supervision. Playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
indoors protects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
being exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who might kidnap or murder them,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
countries. Another reason is preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have social anxiety from being withdrawn since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
force them to socialize. As a consequence, the symptoms of anxiety might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can gain confidence.
However
, this method does not benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the long run as they become dependent on others.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to plan their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, learning how to plan their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
nurtures creativity and encourages them to discover their hidden talents and interests.
For instance
,
instead
of
being forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
hobbies by themselves and find a hobby that they enjoy, which might even turn into a profession when they grow up.
Secondly
, it fosters independence as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can grow up to be adults who are self-reliant. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relied on others to fill their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they would find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be independent when they grow up.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have varying perspectives, I believe that encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to occupy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is vital for their personal development.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books". Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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