Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books. ” Compareand contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gainedfrom books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Use specificreasons and examples to s v.4

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books. ” Compareand contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gainedfrom books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Use specificreasons and examples to s v. 4
Music is an art that is ever present in our society. It is agreed that it unites people from various culture and age groups. Analysing the bonding effects of music on different ages, as well as its effect on uniting people from different cultures will show this. Firstly, individuals from all age groups identify with their local music, especially a music in the native language. For instance, I can remember when I attended a friend's wedding ceremony early last year, where all children and adults at the venue held hands to form a large circle while dancing to a song being played by the DJ. This shows the bonding effects music has on different age groups. This brings me to my second point, which is the ability of music to unite people from various cultures around the globe. Some artists, like Beyoncé and Rihanna, are recognised worldwide, and the music they produce is aired on several radio stations in different countries. Commuters in a public transport from different cultural backgrounds can sing the chorus along with the artist, while the song is being played on the car stereo. Moreover, when these musicians hold live concerts, people from different parts of world attend thus, providing an avenue for them to make new friends. They ignore the cultural diversity and unite as one, because of the music being played. These would not have been possible, if not for music. In conclusion, it is obvious that music definitely is a good way to unite people of varying cultures and ages. It is recommended that the government and individual support artists in other to ensure a sustainable growth of the music industry.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an art
that is
ever present in our society. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the bonding effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
,
as well
as its effect on uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this.

Firstly
, individuals from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups identify with their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
especially
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the native language.
For instance
, I can remember when I attended a friend's wedding ceremony early last year, where all children and adults at the venue held hands to form a large circle while dancing to a song
being played
by the DJ. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the bonding effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

This brings me to my second point, which is the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
around the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
artists, like Beyoncé and Rihanna, are
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
worldwide, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
they produce
is aired
on several radio stations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries. Commuters in
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "public transport".
a public transport
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultural backgrounds can sing the chorus along with the artist, while the song is
being played
on the car stereo.
Moreover
, when these musicians hold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
concerts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of world attend
thus
, providing an avenue for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the cultural diversity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unite
as one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
being played
. These would not have been possible, if not for music.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
definitely is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of varying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. It
is recommended
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individual support artists in other to ensure a sustainable growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books. ” Compareand contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gainedfrom books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Use specificreasons and examples to s v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts