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It has been observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society? v.1

It has been observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society? v. 1
Selecting subjects in tertiary education have been the paramount consideration of students. It is an indisputable that science education is being chosen to study by a few students. I intend to discuss the reasons and consequences of this trend in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, considering this subject is arduous to understand is one of the major reasons behind this trend. In fact, it requires hard efforts and proper dedication to complete science assignments and score good grades in exams. For example, such assignments need proper research and evaluation, which makes it more time consuming and hectic to pursue. Hence, today’s youth finds that opting science education is difficult to complete as compared to other educational fields. On the other hand, the effects of aforementioned situation would be outrageous for the society. Profiles such as scientists, researchers, doctors, and so on come into existence due to having science graduates and in the dearth of the same, society would face impediments in the mentioned domains. Indeed, due to shortage of researchers, it would have immeasurably bad impact on the research of different vaccines. Not only this, it would also lead to less or no innovation in the nation, thereby proving harmful for humankinds. For instance, if there is no required number of scientists then vaccines for epidemic such as Coronavirus would be difficult to produce. To conclude, although science students are vital for any society, there has been declining at this rate owing to having difficulties to understand particular subject and demanding huge time as compared to other subjects, which results to various issues in terms of lacking vaccines and innovations in society.
Selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in tertiary education have been the paramount consideration of students. It is an indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
education is
being chosen
to study by a few students. I intend to discuss the reasons and consequences of this trend in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, considering this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is arduous to understand is one of the major reasons behind this trend. In fact, it requires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
efforts and proper dedication to complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
assignments and score
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in exams.
For example
, such assignments need proper research and evaluation, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and hectic to pursue.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth finds that opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
education is difficult to complete as compared to other educational fields.

On the other hand
, the effects of aforementioned situation would be outrageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Profiles such as scientists, researchers, doctors, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into existence due to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
graduates and in the dearth of the same,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would face impediments in the mentioned domains.
Indeed
, due to shortage of researchers, it would have
immeasurably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the research of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
vaccines. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, it would
also
lead to less or no innovation in the nation, thereby proving harmful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
humankinds
.
For instance
, if there is no required number of scientists then vaccines for epidemic such as Coronavirus would be difficult to produce.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
students are vital for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, there has been declining at this rate owing to having difficulties to understand particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and demanding huge time as compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which results to various issues in terms of lacking vaccines and innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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