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It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? v.8

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 8
It has been seen by many, people succeed and power, go almost entirely to work. Overall, accordingly many types of research, work without rest leads to a problem with health, thereby some people cannot finish what they started for reason fatigue or mental disease. Firstly, a society cannot decline the fact what diminishes of leisure time give you more time on the work to finish cases. Therefore, some people who committed to an idea completely forget about all, and frequently it leads to the exciting result. For example, the news not once have been saying about a lot of powerful politicians who gain success because of sleep three or four hours per day. Likewise, some successful men told what they have the unique work-life balance that allows them to recover body without lost any minute from work. Notwithstanding, people should in all effort take care of the work-life balance because peoples' bodies have restricted quantity of resources which means rest unavoidable and crucial for a healthy life. For instance, scientists noticed that workaholics have a problem with insomnia. As a result, people, especially with weak health, should care about vacation; however, not a detriment to their work and responsibilities. Moreover, peoples' bodies with years have been tending to faster tire and slowly recover, thereby if youth work to fatigue and can do it all week, so elderly people need more balanced work for qualitatively take care of their responsibilities. To conclude, people can sometimes forget about rest for a result; nevertheless, they should recover the resource after. Furthermore, all people are different, consequently, they will need to individually consider their capabilities and make their balance for evading problem with health in the future because of any results worthless if the price it wellness or life.
It has been
seen
by
many
,
people
succeed and power, go almost
entirely
to
work
.
Overall
,
accordingly
many
types of research,
work
without rest leads to a problem with health, thereby
some
people
cannot finish what they
started
for reason fatigue or mental disease.

Firstly
, a society cannot decline the fact what diminishes of leisure time give you more time on the
work
to finish cases.
Therefore
,
some
people
who committed to an
idea
completely forget about all, and
frequently
it leads to the exciting
result
.
For example
, the news not once have been saying about
a lot of
powerful politicians who gain success
because
of sleep three or four hours per day.
Likewise
,
some
successful
men
told
what they have the unique work-life balance that
allows
them to recover body without lost any minute from work.

Notwithstanding,
people
should in all effort take care of the work-life balance
because
peoples' bodies have restricted quantity of resources which means rest unavoidable and crucial for a healthy life.
For instance
, scientists noticed that workaholics have a problem with insomnia. As a
result
,
people
,
especially
with weak health, should care about vacation;
however
, not a detriment to their
work
and responsibilities.
Moreover
, peoples' bodies with years have been tending to faster tire and
slowly
recover, thereby if youth
work
to fatigue and can do it all week,
so
elderly
people
need more balanced
work
for
qualitatively
take care of their responsibilities.

To conclude
,
people
can
sometimes
forget about rest for a
result
;
nevertheless
, they should recover the resource after.
Furthermore
, all
people
are
different
,
consequently
, they will need to
individually
consider their capabilities and
make
their balance for evading problem with health in the future
because
of any
results
worthless if the price
it wellness
or life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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