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Despite the environmental concerns raised by scientists, people are not changing their life style. Why is this the case? What could be done to encourage the people to save the environment? v.2

Despite the environmental concerns raised by scientists, people are not changing their life style. Why is this the case? What could be done to encourage the people to save the environment? v. 2
Presently, the awareness towards the ecosystem has gained momentum. There is an alarming situation created by greediness of the society. However, the existence of the mankind highly depends on the sustainable environment. The essay will discuss the root causes of the above notion along with remedies to curb the issue at a large extent. To begin with, the unsustainable use of technology has sabotaged the environment dramatically by depicting the huge amount of carbon footprint and deforestation of the landscape. Also, the improved standard of living of the public has contributed a hazardous effect on the atmosphere such as the greenhouse effect. Moreover, the whims of the human being never indulge with the scarcity of resources. Although, many ecologists are worried about the environmental issues, the community is still continuing its practices without any concern of the natural habitat. For instance, the exorbitant use of the fossil fuel is degrading the atmosphere; the people are still not compromising with their comfort and not utilizing the public transports. Such episodes are putting the planet on the verge of surviving issue. However, to spread the awareness of environmental issues to the community many positive actions can be conducted. Firstly, the regime should form the policies to motivate the people towards the optimization of public transports instead of personal cars. This pessimistic act would have a predominant impact on the health of the atmosphere. Secondly, the people should maximise the usage of renewable resources to their daily life. For example, the solar energy can be useful to a layman for cooking, heating and electricity generation, which is the form of clean energy. Lastly, the scare resources should be utilized by the people wisely; so that their future generations can live in a healthy and safe environment. In conclusion, the need of the hour is to save the environment to conserve the better future of the mankind. Thus, the government and ecologists have to conduct awareness programmes to motivate the society towards the eco-friendly and prosperous community.
Presently
, the awareness towards the ecosystem has gained momentum. There is an alarming situation created by greediness of the society.
However
, the existence of the mankind
highly
depends on the sustainable environment. The essay will discuss the root causes of the above notion along with remedies to curb the issue at a large extent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the unsustainable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology has sabotaged the environment
dramatically
by depicting the huge amount of carbon footprint and deforestation of the landscape.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
standard of living of the public has contributed a hazardous effect on the atmosphere such as the greenhouse effect.
Moreover
, the whims of the human being never indulge with the scarcity of resources. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ecologists
are worried
about the environmental issues, the community is
still
continuing its practices without any concern of the natural habitat.
For instance
, the exorbitant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the fossil fuel is degrading the atmosphere; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
not compromising with their comfort and not utilizing the public transports. Such episodes are putting the planet on the verge of surviving issue.

However
, to spread the awareness of environmental issues to the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
actions can
be conducted
.
Firstly
, the regime should form the policies to motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the optimization of public transports
instead
of personal cars. This pessimistic act would have a predominant impact on the health of the atmosphere.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
the usage of renewable resources to their daily life.
For example
, the solar energy can be useful to a layman for cooking, heating and electricity generation, which is the form of clean energy.
Lastly
, the scare resources should
be utilized
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wisely
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their future generations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a healthy and safe environment.

In conclusion
, the need of the hour is to save the environment to conserve the better future of the mankind.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and ecologists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
conduct awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to motivate the society towards the eco-friendly and prosperous community.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay Despite the environmental concerns raised by scientists, people are not changing their life style. Why is this the case? What could be done to encourage the people to save the environment? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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