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The most important thing that government should do to improve the heath care is to clean the environment. v.1

The most important thing that government should do to improve the heath care is to clean the environment. v. 1
Some people believe that the best option to grab a decent job is finishing the graduation from college. Whereas, another group of thinkers claimed that enhancing expertise and communication skills are crucial. Therefore, before commenting on my opinion, both the views would be discussed. Discussing the foremost opinion, the educational institute provides a fundamental to research level of knowledge to the student. For an example, the courses like diploma will provide the basic knowledge on the different subjects while master and PhD will give the deepest level of understanding of the specific area. Moreover, the pupils get a chance to do internship and project work in other companies which help them in gaining industrial exposure. To illustrate, the university of Lakehead provides many courses with co-op options. Thus, the education aids individual to gain their skills and increase possibility of getting a job. On the contrary, the experience can give a more practical ability. A person who is working in company since many times had learned multiple aspects of the different situation. For an instance, someone has been working as a Java developer since 5 years definitely have more expertise as compare to the fresher students. In addition, nowadays other soft skills like communication and basic computer familiarity are essential in most of the industries. As per the recent survey held by times of India, there are 35% of chances are inclined in the interview selection with having good communication skill. Hence, These both, experience and soft skills, are important for getting a job. In conclusion, I support the latter view; it can be said that even with the highest level of subject understanding, the practical knowledge also plays a vital role in grabbing better career opportunities.
Some
people
believe that the best option to grab a decent job is finishing the graduation from college. Whereas, another group of thinkers claimed that enhancing expertise and communication
skills
are crucial.
Therefore
,
before
commenting on my opinion, both the views would
be discussed
.

Discussing the foremost opinion, the educational institute provides a fundamental to research level of knowledge to the student. For an example, the courses like diploma will provide the basic knowledge on the
different
subjects while master and PhD will give the deepest level of understanding of the specific area.
Moreover
, the pupils
get
a chance to do internship and project work in other
companies
which
help
them in gaining industrial exposure. To illustrate, the university of
Lakehead
provides
many
courses with co-op options.
Thus
, the education aids individual to gain their
skills
and increase possibility of getting a job.

On the contrary
, the experience can give a more practical ability. A person who is working in
company
since
many
times had learned multiple aspects of the
different
situation. For an instance, someone has been working as a Java developer since 5 years definitely have more expertise as compare to the fresher students.
In addition
, nowadays other soft
skills
like communication and basic computer familiarity are essential in most of the industries. As per the recent survey held by times of India, there are 35% of chances
are inclined
in the interview selection with having
good
communication
skill
.
Hence
, These both, experience and soft
skills
, are
important
for getting a job.

In conclusion
, I support the latter view; it can
be said
that even with the highest level of subject understanding, the practical knowledge
also
plays a vital role in grabbing better career opportunities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The most important thing that government should do to improve the heath care is to clean the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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