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Independent Writing The government wants to fund one of the following areas to improve children's education. Which one do you think is better? Why? -hire more teachers to teach in a small class - make preschool education before kindergarten mandatory v.2

Independent Writing The government wants to fund one of the following areas to improve children's education. Which one do you think is better? Why? -hire more teachers to teach in a small class - make preschool education before kindergarten mandatory v. 2
As an inseparable part of knowledge-oriented societies, the quality of children' s education is one of the most primitive concerns of citizens, for which different procedures and approaches, such as hiring more teachers, making preschool education before kindergarten mandatory, and providing some training courses for teachers are nowadays being implemented. However, the question of what is the best choice to improve children' s education, has aroused as the subject of controversy among the authorities. When it comes to my position, I strongly subscribe to the view that providing some training courses for teachers is the best option. I have some reasons, two of which will be aptly explicated hereunder. The first reason worth discussing here is that providing training courses makes teachers more knowledgeable so that they will be able to choose an efficacious way to teach the students. In fact, the students cannot gain a panoramic view of the world, nor can they acquire lots of information unless their teachers attend the extra training courses. Moreover, taking part in extra training classes helps teachers keep pace with the latest technology and science in order that they can utilize new psychological approaches to discover the student' s talents. In other words, the more students are aware of their capacities, the more eagerly they study. To be more specific, not only do trained teachers encourage students to study, but they teach the students effectively in a way that the lessons will not get faded from their curious minds as well. As a case in point, I vividly remember, when I was a high school student, my school provided some beneficial training classes for the teachers. At first, even though none of the students thought that the classes are helpful, after a few weeks we changed our mind. As a matter of fact, the teacher altered the method of training from theoretical approaches into experimental methods. My teacher was on the opinion that during the empirical lessons, she had more chance to get a better understanding of the student' s strengths and frailties. Having finished the semester, she found that I had an extraordinary talent in biology, which really revolutionized my life due to the fact that now I am a successful biologist. Had the teacher not attended to the valuable training courses, I would not have had such a deep insight into my capabilities in the course of study. My personal experience competently corroborates the idea that participating in the extra training courses is beneficial for both the teachers and the students. By the same token, another equally paramount reason to be mentioned is that students pay more attention to the teachers who attend training classes. As a matter of fact, the students have lots of difficulties to do their homework assignments at home owing to the fact that they encounter a wide assortment of obstacles which prevent them from continuing their studying; therefore, the students should take part in private classes to broaden their knowledge. By doing so, the students are not willing to withstand the class and usually, they do not respect their teachers. The teachers will be able to help students to tackle these problems individually at home, provided that they extend their knowledge through attending extra training courses and explain the materials more precisely in the class. What' s more, the teachers can take advantage of the new technology and organize some groups in social network and keep in touch with students even at home. My own experience demonstrates this reality. When I was a student, I had a hard time dealing with mathematics problems at home. My parents get a private teacher for me to clarify the materials. Later, when my teacher attended the training classes, she gained lots of knowledge and explained the lessons more meticulously. Furthermore, she organized a study group in WhatsApp application for students who have difficulties in doing their homework. Afterward, I and my friends stayed quiet during the class times and would be able to do out assignments accurately. This experience sheds some light on the fact that providing training classes for teachers is really crucial to foster the student’s educational success. By and large, according to the above-mentioned reasons, I firmly agree with this standpoint that providing training classes has a profound impact on the qualification of students learning rate. After all, attending training courses has a variety of unseen effects on student' s education and success. It is highly recommended that government allocate more budget for schools to hold the precious training classes for all the teachers. This will give us the hope of having the chance to see a brighter future regarding our society.
As an inseparable part of knowledge-oriented societies, the quality of
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one of the most primitive concerns of citizens, for which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
procedures and approaches, such as hiring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, making preschool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
kindergarten mandatory, and providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are nowadays
being implemented
.
However
, the question of what is the best choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, has aroused as the subject of controversy among the authorities. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to my position, I
strongly
subscribe to the view that providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is the best option. I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, two of which will be
aptly
explicated hereunder.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
worth discussing here is that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
more knowledgeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be able to choose an efficacious way to teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot gain a panoramic view of the world, nor can they acquire lots of information unless their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Moreover
, taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the latest technology and science in order that they can utilize new psychological approaches to discover the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s talents.
In other words
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are aware of their capacities, the more
eagerly
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. To be more specific, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do trained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
effectively
in a way that the lessons will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
faded from their curious minds
as well
. As a case in point, I
vividly
remember, when I was a high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, my school provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. At
first
,
even though
none of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are helpful, after a few weeks we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our mind. As a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
altered the method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
from theoretical approaches into experimental methods. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
was on the opinion that during the empirical lessons, she had more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better understanding of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s strengths and frailties. Having finished the semester, she found that I had an extraordinary talent in biology, which
really
revolutionized my life due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am a successful biologist. Had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
not attended to the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, I would not have had such a deep insight into my capabilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. My personal experience
competently
corroborates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that participating in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is beneficial for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and the students.

By the same token, another
equally
paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to
be mentioned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pay more attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. As a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have lots of difficulties to do their homework assignments at home owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they encounter a wide assortment of obstacles which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from continuing their studying;
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to broaden their knowledge. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not willing to withstand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
usually
, they do not respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to tackle these problems
individually
at home, provided that they extend their knowledge through attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the materials more
precisely
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can take advantage of the new technology and organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups in social network and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
even at home. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience demonstrates this reality. When I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time dealing with mathematics problems at home. My parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
for me to clarify the materials. Later, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
attended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, she gained lots of knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the lessons more
meticulously
.
Furthermore
, she organized a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
group in WhatsApp application for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have difficulties in doing their homework. Afterward, I and my friends stayed quiet during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
times and would be able to do out assignments
accurately
. This experience sheds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is
really
crucial to foster the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
educational success.

By and large, according to the above-mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this standpoint that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
has a profound impact on the qualification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning rate.
After all
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
has a variety of unseen effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and success. It is
highly
recommended that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocate more budget for schools to hold the precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. This will give us the hope of having the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a brighter future regarding our society.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
96Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Independent Writing The government wants to fund one of the following areas to improve children's education. Which one do you think is better? Why? -hire more teachers to teach in a small class - make preschool education before kindergarten mandatory v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
777 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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