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Which one do you think is the most important factor for a student to succeed at college or university? Tutors in university. The encouragement from family and friends. High-quality education from high school. v.1

Which one do you think is the most important factor for a student to succeed at college or university? Tutors in university. The encouragement from family and friends. High-quality education from high school. v. 1
It is obvious that modern technologies and equipment invented in the cooking field makes the cooking task easy and it has improved the life standard of the people. The following essay state points how the new changes in the cooking field helps in to attain better life style. Firstly, invention of various equipment helps us to complete the tedious tasks in less period and without giving more efforts. For Instance, invention of mixer helps to grind the food substance in minutes and without any strain. Previously we had more manual efforts in grinding the materials. Furthermore, now as we are finishing the task soon, we can complete the cooking work in less period and can utilize the rest of time in some other job. Secondly, inventions of materials make the cooking less dangerous without involving fires. For example, now we have induction stove and microwave oven. These works on electricity and so there is no risk of getting burned by touching or catching fire. In the old days, we were using the gas stove and it involves fire and gas handling issue. Additionally, nowadays, we get packed and easy preparing food with detail instruction about how to cook. This is a real help for the students and the employees who stay away from parents. The time required to boil packed eatable is very less and it normally don’t require more ingredients. For example, in this world, Maggi is more popular and increasing rate of it shows the demand for it. In conclusion, the invention of new technologies in cooking field helps us in a great way, especially in trying new cuisines and getting a delicious new taste with our tongue in less time and effort.
It is obvious that modern technologies and equipment invented in the cooking field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the cooking task easy and it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the life standard of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The following essay state points how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the cooking field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in to attain better life style.

Firstly
, invention of various equipment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to complete the tedious tasks in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
period and without giving more efforts.
For Instance
, invention of mixer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to grind the food substance in minutes and without any strain. Previously we had more manual efforts in grinding the materials.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as we are finishing the task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, we can complete the cooking work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
period and can utilize the rest of time in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other job.

Secondly
, inventions of materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
without involving fires.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have induction stove and microwave oven. These works on electricity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting burned by touching or catching fire. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, we were using the gas stove and it involves fire and gas handling issue.

Additionally
, nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
packed and easy preparing food with detail instruction about how to cook. This is a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for the students and the employees who stay away from parents. The time required to boil packed eatable is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
and it
normally
The pronoun 'it' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "doesn’t", "didn’t".
don’t
require more ingredients.
For example
, in this world,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maggi
is more popular and increasing rate of it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the demand for it.

In conclusion
, the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies in cooking field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us
Consider replacing "in a great way" with the adverb for "great"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a great way
,
especially
in trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cuisines and getting a delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
taste with our tongue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
time and effort.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which one do you think is the most important factor for a student to succeed at college or university? Tutors in university. The encouragement from family and friends. High-quality education from high school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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