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Do you agree or diagree with the following statement? To improve the quality of education, iuniversities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

To improve the quality of education, iuniversities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
I agree with the statement that university professors should be paid higher to improve the quality of education. Teaching is considered to be a noble profession. They are considered as leaders who pave the way to the future. The salaries are pretty low as compared to other professions and should be increased for the following reasons. Firstly, under the spell of the profession being a noble deed, the teachers are not able to meet up with the day to day expenditure, owing to the low income. The pressure thus added, leads to a deduction in the zest and interest while teaching. The knowledge imparted is not complete. For example, many of the good school teachers who have been in the profession for a long time are quitting their jobs, since the rate at which the market grows and the rate of their increment in salary does not match. An increment in their salary would provide a good incentive for them teach in a better way, such that the purpose is fulfilled. Secondly, due to the low salary structure, the youth is not motivated into teaching. Therefore, the young minds which are so full of knowledge and bright ideas are not being used for the progress of the coming generations. The give and take relationship of information is getting limited. The only lot of teachers that we see now are mostly people who had no other option and fell prey to the standards set. Thus, by the increase in salary, more people of the new generation would be keen on taking up this profession and spread their knowledge to others. The youth is well acquainted with the new technology and those techniques could aid the learning process. Thirdly, when the university loosens the fist and is willing to pay the professors well, visiting professors would be ready to come and share their work. For example, in architecture, practicing architects could visit the universities to explain how the profession works in real life, what kind of complexities one would have to face. Such experiences are great eye openers and also generate interest in students, giving them a break from their daily schedule. To conclude, teaching is a job which requires a lot of patience and dedication therefore, to keep this alive, the professors need to happy and peaceful. One of the major criteria to achieve this is economic stability, hence a raise in the income is necessary.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
should
be paid
higher to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of education.

Teaching
is considered
to be a noble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. They
are considered
as leaders who pave the way to the future. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are pretty low as compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
and should
be increased
for the following reasons.

Firstly
, under the spell of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
being a noble deed, the teachers are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
expenditure, owing to the low income. The pressure
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
, leads to a deduction in the zest and interest while teaching. The knowledge imparted is not complete.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
school teachers who have been in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
for a long time are quitting their jobs, since the rate at which the market grows and the rate of their increment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
does not match. An increment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
would provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
incentive for them teach in a better way, such that the purpose
is fulfilled
.

Secondly
, due to the low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
structure, the youth is not motivated into teaching.
Therefore
, the young minds which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
full of knowledge and bright
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are not being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the progress of the coming generations. The give and take relationship of information is getting limited. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lot of teachers that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had no other option and fell prey to the standards set.
Thus
, by the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the new generation would be keen on taking up this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
and spread their knowledge to others. The youth is well acquainted with the new technology and those techniques could aid the learning process.

Thirdly
, when the university loosens the fist and is willing to pay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
well, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
would be ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and share their work.
For example
, in architecture, practicing architects could visit the universities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
works in real life, what kind of complexities one would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face. Such experiences are great
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eye openers
and
also
generate interest in students, giving them a break from their daily schedule.

To conclude
, teaching is a job which requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
patience and dedication
therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this alive, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
need to happy and peaceful. One of the major criteria to achieve this is economic stability,
hence
a raise in the income is necessary.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay To improve the quality of education, iuniversities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
405 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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