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is it better to stay in a job that is raliable, or it is better a job that is not reliable and pay you more money? v.2

is it better to stay in a job that is raliable, or it is better a job that is not reliable and pay you more money? v. 2
Jobs are very important, they play a key role in our lives. They define a lot of things, even our status in the society. There are many people that consider their jobs their only option, but they‘re wrong because people should take risks in order to get something better. I believe that people should take the chance of taking jobs where they get better money, rather than staying in the same job for many years. In the first place, a job where you can get a good salary might give the opportunity to save money. As we know, to gather money might open doors for us. For instance, we might invest money in other business that makes increase our income. In remember when I had my first job in Macdonald, after a few months working I quit because the salary was not enough to pay my bills. I took a part time job, and despite was temporary and less than 26 hours a week, I saved money and studied for my exams. Contrary to my friend, that started working on a company and was afraid to search for another job because he said that his job was very stable, I took the chance, and I don' t regret. Another noteworthy aspect is that temporal jobs might help you get more experience. Nowadays, companies require employees with previous experience. That meant that they will consider other jobs where you have been, and based on your previous salary they will offer you the same or more money. In other words, if your salary was 8 dollars per hour, then you might get the same salary or something more. For instance, in my last job interview. The supervisor asked my about my previous salary and hours that I did per week. Because my salary was good, I could get the job and earned two dollars more than before. So, this experience taught me that people should always choose jobs where they might get good money. Finally, there are many things that rely on our previous jobs, because of this, I support that we should consider jobs where we might get more money, it doesn’t matter if it’s not reliable. The most important is to be aware that our previous salary might define our future salary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, they play a key role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They define
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things, even our status in the society. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they‘re
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something better. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take the chance of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
rather
than staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.

In the
first
place, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
give the opportunity to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. As we know, to gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
open doors for us.
For instance
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in other business that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
increase our income. In remember when I had my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in Macdonald, after a few months working I quit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay my bills. I took a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and despite was temporary and less than 26 hours a week, I saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and studied for my exams. Contrary to my friend, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and was afraid to search for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he said that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stable, I took the chance, and I
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t regret.

Another noteworthy aspect is that temporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experience. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require employees with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
experience. That meant that they will consider other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where you have been, and based on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
they will offer you the same or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In other words
, if your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
was 8 dollars per hour, then you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
or something more.
For instance
, in my last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
interview. The supervisor asked my about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and hours that I did per week.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and earned two dollars more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this experience taught me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should always choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money.

Finally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that rely on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
because of this
, I support that we should consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it doesn’t matter if it’s not reliable. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to be aware that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
define our future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay is it better to stay in a job that is raliable, or it is better a job that is not reliable and pay you more money? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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