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Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? v.1

Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? v. 1
Freedom of speech is crucial in modern society. This fundamental right has been adopted since 1948 and it is the core of democracy. Therefore freedom of speech empowers people, allow them to raise their voice, express their concerns and criticise the laws. This is the only way people can govern a nation. Freedom is the fragrance of a beautiful and welfare society. right of conversation is important and it is linked to prosperity. At the end of the day prosperity comes from new ideas, people must be free to share ideas and information that had once been controversial. However, some people feel that power of discussion has been lately misused for different interests. May it be defamatory, criticizing celebrities or even using insults against other people. Not choosing words carefully may result in harming a person, whereas some words can also incite a community or a religion. For example on the 7th of January 2015 two members of a terrorist group, forced their way into the offices of the a French satirical weekly newspaper in Paris. Armed with weapons, they killed 12 people and injured 11 others. This can result in fights amongst people, resulting in chaos and damage to property and lives. Hence, checks and balances need to be maintained as a part of autonomy of speech. Overall, according to my point of view, we cannot build a better society if we don’t take into account people opinion. That is why liberty of voice is essential in all civilised societies.
Freedom of speech is crucial in modern society. This fundamental right has
been adopted
since 1948 and it is the core of democracy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
freedom of speech empowers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to raise their voice, express their concerns and
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticise' is British English.
criticise
the laws. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can govern a nation. Freedom is the fragrance of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and welfare society.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
right
of conversation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and it
is linked
to prosperity. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day prosperity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be free to share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and information that had once been controversial.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that power of discussion has been lately misused for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests. May it be defamatory,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('criticize' and 'criticise') within a single text.
criticizing
celebrities or even using insults against other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Not choosing words
carefully
may result in harming a person, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words can
also
incite a community or a religion.
For example
on the 7th of January 2015 two members of a terrorist group, forced their way into the offices of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
French satirical weekly newspaper in Paris. Armed with weapons, they killed 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and injured 11 others. This can result in fights amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, resulting in chaos and damage to property and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
and balances need to
be maintained
as a part of autonomy of speech.

Overall
, according to my point of view, we cannot build a better society if we don’t take into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opinion.
That is
why liberty of voice is essential in all
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
societies.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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