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Differences between countries have become less evident. For example, nowadays the same films, fashions, brands and TV programmes are found worldwide. To what extend do you think the disadvantages of this outweigh its advantages? v.1

Differences between countries have become less evident. For example, nowadays the same films, fashions, brands and TV programmes are found worldwide. v. 1
Today many of us are familiar with the term “the flat world” referring to the world as a big territory which means that we can buy and sell almost everything without going out of our country. This situation, actually, has pros and cons, but in my opinion, the benefits of this are not as many as the drawbacks it brings to us. At first, it is no denying that many countries, especially the undeveloped and developing countries, are beneficial from this trend. The people of those countries have the opportunities to approach the up-to-date products which are only present in the developed countries. In term of national economy, the capital from rich countries will move to developing countries to invest with the purpose of utilizing the cheap labor cost and land. However, there are the other side of the picture. Although the people of undeveloped and developing countries may enjoy the products producing by a foreign companies, there are many concerns that it will cause the impact on the local economies and cultures when the foreign products are dominant in the market. Furthermore, the industrial pollution caused by the foreign factories that normally apply the out-of-date technologies are discovered more and more in those undeveloped and developing countries. By this way, the gap between the rich and the poor countries will become wider and wider. In summary, despite the advantages of “the flat world”, I still believe that the disadvantages it has are giving the world plenty of challenges. And it surely need to be considered and evaluated cautiously by the government of every country around the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us are familiar with the term “the flat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world”
referring to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
territory which means that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and sell almost everything without going out of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This situation, actually, has pros and cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, the benefits of this are not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as the drawbacks it brings to us.

At
first
, it is no denying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
the undeveloped and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, are beneficial from this trend. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have the opportunities to approach the up-to-date products which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
present in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In term of national economy, the capital from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to invest with the purpose of utilizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
labor cost and land.

However
, there are the other side of the picture. Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of undeveloped and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may enjoy the products producing by a foreign
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "company"?
companies
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns that it will cause the impact on the local economies and cultures when the foreign products are dominant in the market.
Furthermore
, the industrial pollution caused by the foreign factories that
normally
apply the out-of-date technologies
are discovered
more and more in those undeveloped and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. By this way, the gap between the rich and the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will become wider and wider.

In summary, despite the advantages of “the flat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world”
, I
still
believe that the disadvantages it has are giving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of challenges. And it
surely
Did you mean "needs"?
need
to
be considered
and evaluated
cautiously
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Differences between countries have become less evident. For example, nowadays the same films, fashions, brands and TV programmes are found worldwide. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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