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There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family? v.13

There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family? v. 13
Nowadays, the number of families that desire to have less offsprings are rising. This essay will discuss the merits and drawbacks of having a small household. There are two main advantages that parents can gain from having less children, which are the minimum expenses and the easiness to look after them. Firstly, it is undeniable that the price of general products have risen significantly over the last decade, thus the cost to spend towards the offsprings also increase simultaneously. According to 'The Economist Australia' magazine, the average expenses for family of four is AUD$90, 000 compared to household of six with AUD$150, 000 annually. In addition, maintaining fewer children are easier, as parents are able to look after them equally. Therefore, having a small household indeed is beneficial in terms of money, time and attention. On the other hand, there are two disadvantages with having less offsprings, which are less togetherness and unavoidable personal matter in the future. In 2015, researchers discovered that over 85% of parents with less than two descendants generally spend their retirements alone. This is due to the fact that often their children are likely to be busy with their work or perhaps living in different country in the future. Additionally, issues that can affect their emotional health can develop to hate, since parents normally give too many attentions that are not necessary for them. Hence, personal issues and less time to spend often will impact small family in the future. To conclude, the trend to have a small family is set in the future. On one hand, it is easier to look after the children and the minimum cost to spend towards them. However, parents may encounter personal matters and less togetherness in the future with their offsprings.
Nowadays, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that desire to have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun offsprings is countable.
less
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
are rising. This essay will discuss the merits and drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
household.

There are two main advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can gain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun children is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which are the minimum expenses and the easiness to look after them.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that the price of general products have risen
significantly
over the last decade,
thus
the cost to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
towards the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
also
increase
simultaneously
. According to 'The Economist Australia' magazine, the average expenses for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of four is AUD$90, 000 compared to household of six with AUD$150, 000
annually
.
In addition
, maintaining fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are easier, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to look after them
equally
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
household
indeed
is beneficial in terms of money, time and attention.

On the other hand
, there are two disadvantages with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun offsprings is countable.
less
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
togetherness and unavoidable personal matter in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In 2015, researchers discovered that over 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than two descendants
generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their retirements alone.
This is due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to be busy with their work or perhaps living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Additionally
, issues that can affect their emotional health can develop to hate, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
normally
give too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attentions that are not necessary for them.
Hence
, personal issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
will impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the future.

To conclude
, the trend to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is set
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. On one hand, it is easier to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the minimum cost to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
towards them.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may encounter personal matters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
togetherness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
with their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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