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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. v.186

Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. v. 186
In Modern Times, people live in a competitive world Science for daily survival humankind must be and guest with any particular job so here a few argue that mother and father must motivate their son and daughter to involve themselves with some organised group activities in their leisure time. Nevertheless, others opine that children should keep themselves busy with their own work in my opinion for statement is an optimum choice still I will discuss both views before coming to the conclusion. This paragraph will throw some light on why parents should encourage their children to take part in such events. To begin with, youngsters nowadays have their own goal to become a well-known personality. Hence, as a result, Juvenile does not engage themselves with organised activities. Thus, such activities can help them to learn new things as well as can develop interpersonal skills. For example, apart from studies in leisure time children must take part in cricket or football where they are in great supervision of coaches and other senior players. As a result, students will learn efficiently and accurately. To add more such things might help Juvenile to develop interpersonal skills. On the contrary, a few desires that students must work on their own with their preferred subject rather than involving themselves in other activities. For example, an individual is more interested in his / or her academic career rather than focusing on other recreational activities. Students must keep them busy with their chosen side, as a result, all these focus and efforts will mitigate the chance of failure and will help children to lead to the triumph. Nevertheless, involving themselves in an organised group in their free time apart from studies will help an individual to develop some skills, techniques and methods to tackle some situation whenever they face in life. Moreover, children might come to know about the hidden talent which interns may give them their own identity. To Pen down, I would like to say that children who are engaged in a single profession might not have a backup if they fail. Whereas children engage in other activities apart from studies are likely to be more active and intelligent.
In Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a competitive world Science for daily survival humankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be and guest with any particular job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
here a few argue that mother and father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
motivate their son and daughter to involve themselves with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Nevertheless
, others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work in my opinion for statement is an optimum choice
still
I will discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to the conclusion.

This paragraph will throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on why parents should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youngsters nowadays have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goal to become a well-known personality.
Hence
,
as a result
, Juvenile does not engage themselves with
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Thus
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to learn new things
as well
as can develop interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, apart from studies in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in cricket or football where they are in great supervision of coaches and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
senior players.
As a result
, students will learn
efficiently
and
accurately
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more such things might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Juvenile to develop interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the contrary
, a few desires that students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
with their preferred subject
rather
than involving themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, an individual is more interested in his / or her academic career
rather
than focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them busy with their chosen side,
as a result
, all
Did you mean "this focus" or "these foci", "these focuses", "these focusses"?
these focus
and efforts will mitigate the chance of failure and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to lead to the triumph.

Nevertheless
, involving themselves in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
group in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
apart from studies will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
an individual to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, techniques and methods to tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation whenever they face in life.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the hidden talent which interns may give them their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity.

To Pen down, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are engaged
in a single profession might not have a backup if they fail. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
apart from studies are likely to be more active and intelligent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. v. 186

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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