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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The line graph below provides information about the incomes of four restaurants in a city in 2010 Summarise the information write at least 150 words v.1

The line graph below provides information about the incomes of four restaurants in a city in 2010
Films are considered as one of the influential art forms. Violence in the movies has created many problems in the societies. One of the main problems affected in the society by the movies is the violence. In most of the movies, the lead character does tremendous fight in different styles. The movie is regarded as a most influential art form. The viewers, especially youngsters try to apply the same style and create problems in the society. In films different type of violence is being used, some violence are much scarier and children’s are advised not to see such kind of movie's. In the videos, violence is done to capture something from someone. For instance, of stealing money from a rich man, they will kill the wealthy man and loot his all money; similarly violence is done to capture power or money. The solution is that the violence in the movies should be reduced or when the violence is being shown, subtitle mentioning ''violence is not a solution for all'' should be shown. The violence in the films should be limited or to be ignored, since this a great influential art form. The society inherits this and tries to apply the same. Violence in the movies with a gun or machines, or with any sharp objects should be subject to screening and this type of movies should not be promoted. Instead of violence, they should focus more on showing an empathy, peace. Thus, they can develop a good society. The violence affects the children’s and the effects of violence will be there in their mind gradually they will try to implement those in their lives and thus destroy the society. In conclusion the violence in the films has caused several problems and this should be avoided, the government mechanism should be more active to ban such type of films by doing proper screening.
Films
are considered
as one of the influential art forms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the societies.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, the lead character does tremendous fight in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is regarded
as a most influential art form. The viewers,
especially
youngsters try to apply the same style and create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
are much scarier and children’s
are advised
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
such kind of movie's. In the videos,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is done
to capture something from someone.
For instance
, of stealing money from a rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, they will kill the wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and loot his all money;
similarly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is done
to capture power or money. The solution is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
or when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is
being shown
, subtitle mentioning ''violence is not a solution for all'' should
be shown
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the films should
be limited
or to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, since this a great influential art form.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
inherits this and tries to apply the same.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with a gun or machines, or with any sharp objects should be subject to screening and this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should not
be promoted
.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, they should focus more on showing an empathy, peace.
Thus
, they can develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
affects the children’s and the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
will be there in their mind
gradually
they will try to implement those in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the society.

In conclusion
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the films has caused several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and this should
be avoided
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
mechanism should be more active to ban such type of films by doing proper screening.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph below provides information about the incomes of four restaurants in a city in 2010

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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