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Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay tuition fees themselves. v. 2
It is of great significance for many people to receive college education since that can make it easier for them to find employment. Those who are in favour of the government increasing investment in university education hold that some students are unable to enter university due to high tuition fees. My view is that students should be the ones who pay their tuition, but those who come from less well-off families should be provided with financial support. One of the reasons why I believe students should pay their own tuition fees is that they would work harder and cherish the precious opportunities to learn if they do so. This is because they will know that the costs of university education are high by paying the fees themselves, hence they will work harder to do all the assignments, pass the exams, and complete a degree on time. On the contrary, if the government bears the costs, many students would take it for granted and fail exams from time to time. Another advantage of students covering their own tuitions is that the burden on the government could be lightened and as a result, more money could be allocated to finance primary and secondary education, which helps to eliminate illiteracy and enables more young people to attend universities. What’s more, the government would be able to provide subsidies for students pursuing post-graduate degrees, who contribute to technological innovation. However, I also hold that students from low-income families should be exempted from tuitions. Only by doing so can these youngsters be encouraged to go to universities, acquire knowledge, hone their skills, and finally get a decent job. This is an effective way to close the wealth gap and build a fair society as well. By contrast, if these students have to pay tuition fees themselves, they may drop out of university, thereby losing the opportunity to explore their potentials. In conclusion, the government should provide financial supports in accordance with students’ needs to make sure they are given the chance to receive an education. I am of the opinion that while disadvantaged students should be granted free education, it is impractical to abolish tuition fees altogether.
It is of great significance for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to receive college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
since that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for them to find employment. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
increasing investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
hold that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unable to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
due to high tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
. My view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pay their tuition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from less well-off families should
be provided
with financial support.

One of the reasons why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pay their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
is that they would work harder and cherish the precious opportunities to learn if they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will know that the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are high by paying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
themselves,
hence
they will work harder to do all the assignments, pass the exams, and complete a degree on time.
On the contrary
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
bears the costs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would take it for granted and fail exams from time to time.

Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
covering their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
is that the burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
be lightened
and
as a result
, more money could
be allocated
to finance primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to eliminate illiteracy and enables more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. What’s more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would be able to provide subsidies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pursuing post-graduate degrees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
contribute to technological innovation.

However
, I
also
hold that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from low-income families should
be exempted
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can these youngsters
be encouraged
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, acquire knowledge, hone their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job. This is an effective way to close the wealth gap and build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
society
as well
. By contrast, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
themselves, they may drop out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, thereby losing the opportunity to explore their potentials.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide financial supports in accordance with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to receive an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I am of the opinion that while disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be granted
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it is impractical to abolish tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
altogether.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay tuition fees themselves. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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