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Many people believe that university students should pay tuition fees in full themselves, because they gain education for their own benefit and not for the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people believe that university students should pay tuition fees in full themselves, because they gain education for their own benefit and not for the society. v. 1
In the last few decades, our society has witnessed the rise of the industrial revolution around the world, which in turn leads to the excessive mass production of goods growing beyond consumer demand. As a social and economic phenomena, it has had several impacts on the natural world and the living conditions of humankind. In this essay, I will discuss the main causes that give rise to the overproduction of goods and offer some measures to tackle this problem. The root of an excessive supply of products lies within the evolution of human society itself. Among many possible reasons that cause the glut of goods, consumerism is considered to be the main culprit. Because of the belief that certain merchandise do not hold the same value anymore when it is out of style, in tandem with the ever-increasing appearance of advertisement in every household, modern citizens are convinced to believe that they must stay up to date with the ongoing trends by purchasing new products even though their old ones still function well. Recent researches have shown that today’s people have the tendency to buy the newest and the most fashionable smartphone models in the marketplace, despise the fact that their current mobile phone is not out of date yet. Another trend of human society that has helped create the excess of supply is the planned obsolescence. Modern companies intentionally design their products to be out of use after a short span of time such as clothes, shoes or smartphone batteries and thus force the costumers to come back to buy new ones. As a result, the two above reasons encourage people to keep buying unnecessarily new merchandise and therefore start the chain of overproduction. In the end, for the industrial production requires different resources which come from the natural world, the oversupply will eventually lead to environmental degradation, for example the unrestrained development of pulp and paper industry will lead to deforestation or the overfishing of seafood industry will result in the loss of marine life. In response to solve this increasing adverse effect, some viable solutions must put forward. Firstly, the government should implement a law to ban manufacturers to plan the failure of their goods and encourage them to produce more durable products, so consumers do not have to replace their bought products too frequently. Secondly, the media should promote environmental programs that raise awareness of overconsumption and overproduction. For example, a tv program that shows the harmful effects of excessive unsustainable production on ecosystem health will inspire people to buy less and not contribute to the oversupply of goods. Once the buyers are aware of how their shopping habit can have serious impacts on the environment and decide to end this toxic practice, the excess of supply will not be a problem anymore. In conclusion, it must be said that the overabundance of products is a contentious topic with no easy answers. However, in my mind, the most effective solutions would be to encourage the consumers to do shopping responsibly by not buying goods for unnecessary trends. It is not unrealistic to expect that raising consumers’ awareness will help reduce the increase of producing goods in the impending future.
In the last few decades, our society has witnessed the rise of the industrial revolution around the world, which in turn leads to the excessive mass production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
growing beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
demand. As a social and economic phenomena, it has had several impacts on the natural world and the living conditions of humankind. In this essay, I will discuss the main causes that give rise to the overproduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to tackle this problem.

The root of an excessive supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
lies within the evolution of human society itself. Among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible reasons that cause the glut of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, consumerism
is considered
to be the main culprit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the belief that certain merchandise do not hold the same value anymore when it is out of style, in tandem with the ever-increasing appearance of advertisement in every household, modern citizens
are convinced
to believe that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay up to date with the ongoing trends by purchasing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
even though
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
still
function well. Recent researches have shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the newest and the most fashionable smartphone models in the marketplace, despise the fact that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
mobile phone is not out of date
yet
. Another trend of human society that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
create the excess of supply is the planned obsolescence. Modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
intentionally
design their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to be out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
after a short span of time such as clothes, shoes or smartphone batteries and
thus
force the costumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
As a result
, the two above reasons encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
buying
unnecessarily
new merchandise and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the chain of overproduction. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, for the industrial production requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
resources which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the natural world, the
oversupply
will
eventually
lead to environmental degradation,
for example
the unrestrained development of pulp and paper industry will lead to deforestation or the overfishing of seafood industry will result in the loss of marine life.

In response to solve this increasing adverse effect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put forward.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement a law to ban manufacturers to plan the failure of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and encourage them to produce more durable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
replace their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
too
frequently
.
Secondly
, the media should promote environmental programs that raise awareness of overconsumption and overproduction.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
program that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the harmful effects of excessive unsustainable production on ecosystem health will inspire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
less and not contribute to the
oversupply
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. Once the buyers are aware of how their shopping habit can have serious impacts on the environment and decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this toxic practice, the excess of supply will not be a problem anymore.

In conclusion
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that the overabundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is a contentious topic with no easy answers.
However
, in my mind, the most effective solutions would be to encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
responsibly
by not buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
for unnecessary trends. It is not unrealistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers’
awareness will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the increase of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in the impending future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that university students should pay tuition fees in full themselves, because they gain education for their own benefit and not for the society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
533 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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