Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that university students should pay tuition fees in full themselves, because they gain education for their own benefit and not for the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people believe that university students should pay tuition fees in full themselves, because they gain education for their own benefit and not for the society. v. 2
It is argued that students should take on the burden of paying their university tuition fees in the light of the fact that this would contribute to some advantages to themselves in comparison with the society. This essay agrees with the idea completely and will discuss how it would affect learning skill, securing a career and also would give a hand to societies. On the one hand, paying the tuition fees by students would not only urge them to get a job in order to cover their economic problem, but also would lead to acquisition of a pursuit. It is often said that graduates always are complaining about the unemployment nowadays. So seeking a work that is associated with their own area of study would have multitude privilege both for their current situation and their future as well. For example, personally, I have not faced with problem of finding a job as a civil engineer since I commence doing my refurbishment project while I was a University student. Subsequently, when I graduates I just did a little fine-tuning and I move into more serious project. On the other hand, Educational segment always challenge with hardship of provision of facilities or paying off their staff salaries. In consequence, it would be wise if students pay tuition fees with respect to resolution of this issue. As long as their colleges would access to adequate economic resources, facilitating universities appropriately bring about soaring the education quality by fulfilled professors. As a transparent instance, international campus of Tehran University is a thoroughly self-funded college that students pay their tuition fees routinely. Therefore, this fact caused having sophisticated visual and laboratory instrument such as super-computers, high quality video-projections and smart white-boards that could not be seen in state Universities. To sum up, student should unify their efforts to support universities for helping them to meet their ideal condition. Not only would it bring upsides to students, but it would also result in benefits to society. Besides, it could somehow shows the right way of securing a career and not confronting with unemployment difficulties.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take on the burden of paying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
in the light of the fact that this would contribute to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to themselves
in comparison
with the society. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
completely and will discuss how it would affect learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, securing a career and
also
would give a hand to societies.

On the one hand, paying the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
urge them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in order to cover their economic problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
would lead to acquisition of a pursuit. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that graduates always are complaining about the unemployment nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
seeking a work that
is associated
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
area of study would have multitude privilege both for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation and their future
as well
.
For example
,
personally
, I have not faced with problem of finding a job as a civil engineer since I commence doing my refurbishment project while I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Subsequently
, when I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "graduate"
graduates
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
did a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fine-tuning and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into more serious project.

On the other hand
, Educational segment always challenge with hardship of provision of facilities or paying off their staff salaries. In consequence, it would be wise if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pay tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
with respect to resolution of this issue. As long as their colleges would access to adequate economic resources, facilitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
appropriately
bring about soaring the education quality by fulfilled professors. As a transparent instance, international campus of Tehran
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is a
thoroughly
self-funded college that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pay their tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
routinely
.
Therefore
, this fact caused having sophisticated visual and laboratory instrument such as super-computers, high quality video-projections and smart white-boards that could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in state Universities.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should unify their efforts to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for helping them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their ideal condition. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would it bring upsides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would
also
result in benefits to society.
Besides
, it could somehow
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "show"
shows
the right way of securing a career and not confronting with unemployment difficulties.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Many people believe that university students should pay tuition fees in full themselves, because they gain education for their own benefit and not for the society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts