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Inspite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.1

Inspite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
In this contemporary era, technological advancement has taken place in varied sectors including agriculture realm. Needless of this progression, many individuals are starving hungry all across the globe. This essay will explain the causes and plausible solutions for this problem. Undoubtedly, while, agriculture is growing day-to-day due to technology, still the food production is not an adequate amount of the inhabitants because of the growing population of the country. The amount of food produced does not satisfy the basic need of people. The second reason is an increasing urbanization. Because of this development, the portion of land to grow crops has been diminished, which eventually lead to eradicate the amount of food produced. For this alarming issue, certain steps are required on war footing. Firstly, the government should take steps to control the over population. They can conduct the free campaigns to spread awareness about how to get control over the increasing population amongst citizens, which can aid to control the growth in population. Secondly, the authorities are ought to allocate some fruitful land to grow crops rather constructing buildings which ultimately lead to an increase in food production. For an example, some countries have implemented a scheme where a certain amount of land is being used only to plant trees. To conclude, overpopulation and urbanization are two main factors for why some people are not getting food. Its can be resolved with the proper management by the government and localize both, as food is a basic necessity for any living being to live a healthy lifestyle.
In this contemporary era, technological advancement has taken place in varied sectors including agriculture realm. Needless of this progression,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are starving hungry all across the globe. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the causes and plausible solutions for this problem.

Undoubtedly
, while, agriculture is growing day-to-day due to technology,
still
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production is not an adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of the inhabitants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the country. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produced does not satisfy the basic need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The second reason is an increasing urbanization.
Because of this
development, the portion of land to grow crops has
been diminished
, which
eventually
lead to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
produced.

For this alarming issue, certain steps
are required
on war footing.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to control the over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. They can conduct the free campaigns to spread awareness about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
control over the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
amongst citizens, which can aid to control the growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
Secondly
, the authorities are ought to allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fruitful land to grow crops
rather
constructing buildings which
ultimately
lead to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production. For an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have implemented a scheme where a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of land is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to plant trees.

To conclude
, overpopulation and urbanization are two main factors for why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
can
be resolved
with the proper management by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and localize both, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a basic necessity for any living being to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy lifestyle.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Inspite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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