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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words v.2

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 2
Information technology is a helpful servant but a dangerous master. Althogh we are having a gala time after using the technological aspects, our lives are dominated with it. I, however, tend to agree with the notion that the merits of information technology outstripped the demerits. In this essay, I will highlight my view points and try to provide sound reasoning for my claims. There are multifarious benefits of the modern technology. First and foremost, it can save our time. In other words, with the help of this we do not have to drive to the brick-and-mortar stores in order to buy our daily household things. We can do it with a single click and we can save our important time which can be invested in some other activities. Secondly, it is helpful to save money. Even though there are various things available over the internet, we can choose the cheapest one and save money. Finally, internet is useful for the communication. Despite of the long distance, we can communicate with people whenever we want and utilize our spare time accordingly. For instance, individuals can buy their daily products from online shopping sites such as Amazon and they can compare the price over there. Thus, we are blessed that we are living the era of netizen. Conversely, some people opine that use of internet can be harmful. Firstly, it leads to isolation. Nowadays people prefer to spend their time on the smartphones instead of socialize which has a bad impact in the society. In addition, use of internet is risky because of cyber crimes. peoples identities can be compromised in the internet which can be led to huge financial loss. Finally, information technology increases the financial debt. Individuals are surrounded by the glam and glitter of internet and they want to update themselves according to that which force them to purchase materialistic things with their credit cards. I would like to cite an example. People are taking loans in order to buy tabs or high end gadgets which increases the financial burdens. Hence, there are certain negative effects of information technology. To conclude, I want to reiterate my viewpoints by saying that, although there are some drawbacks of information technology, the advantages of it have more impact on our daily lives. Those demerits can be eliminated with the help of proper supervision. Therefore, the cons are outweighed by the pros
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a helpful servant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
master.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althogh
we are having a gala
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after using the technological aspects, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are dominated
with it. I,
however
, tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
outstripped the demerits. In this essay, I will highlight my view points and try to provide sound reasoning for my claims.

There are multifarious benefits of the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
First
and foremost, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In other words
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drive to the brick-and-mortar stores in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
our daily household things. We can do it with a single
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
click and
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which can
be invested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other activities.
Secondly
, it is helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
money.
Even though
there are various things available over the internet, we can choose the cheapest one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
money.
Finally
, internet is useful for the communication.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the long distance, we can communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whenever we want and utilize our spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
accordingly
.
For instance
, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their daily products from online shopping sites such as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Amazon and
they can compare the price over there.
Thus
, we
are blessed
that we are living the era of netizen.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet can be harmful.
Firstly
, it leads to isolation. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the smartphones
instead
of socialize which has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact in the society.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet is risky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of cyber crimes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
peoples
identities can
be compromised
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
which can
be led
to huge financial loss.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
increases the financial debt. Individuals
are surrounded
by the glam and glitter of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they want to update themselves according to that which force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
materialistic things with their credit cards. I would like to cite an example.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are taking loans in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
tabs or high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
gadgets which increases the financial burdens.
Hence
, there are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
technology.

To conclude
, I want to reiterate my viewpoints by saying that, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the advantages of it have more impact on our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Those demerits can
be eliminated
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of proper supervision.
Therefore
, the cons
are outweighed
by the pros
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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