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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 3
In our world today, internet networking has occupied a major position in our daily activities including at home, our free time and work place. Besides achieving effective communication with friends, family and colleagues, people surf the web to get updates on different things including jobs, fashion, sports. In addition, network people use of internet has improved from 2G to 3G/ 4G and now 5G in some countries. These networks are made available by different network providers at affordable rates and could be shared with different mobile devices and laptops via tethering, routers and Wi-Fi. However, there are negative consequences of internet networking, including addiction, depression and suicide ideations, but its advantages still outweighs them. Prior to the event of internet networking, our forefathers communicate with friends and love ones via letter writing. This usually takes days to get to the receiver and severally days for the writer to get the feedback from the receiver. The convenience of sending messages and mails in the comfort of our rooms, bedrooms and offices using internet networking is simple awesome. Messages sent is received and replied to in seconds and minutes. While cybercrime is on the rise, one is advised not to reveal his/her password to anyone and should be security conscious Again, people needed to buy newspaper in those days to get the latest news, which has been made way simpler now by information technology. Latest news can be read by browsing the web or by tuning in to any channel of your choice of a television set connected to a decoder. In conclusion, internet networking is the best thing to have happened to our generation, but one need to apply self-discipline to its use.
In our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, internet networking has occupied a major position in our daily activities including at home, our free time and work place.
Besides
achieving effective communication with friends, family and colleagues,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
surf the web to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updates on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things including jobs, fashion, sports.
In addition
, network
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
from 2G to 3G/ 4G and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
5G in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. These networks
are made
available by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
network providers at affordable rates and could
be shared
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mobile devices and laptops via tethering, routers and Wi-Fi.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of internet networking, including addiction, depression and suicide
Possible spelling mistake found.
ideations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its advantages
still
outweighs them.

Prior to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of internet networking, our forefathers communicate with friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
ones via letter writing. This
usually
takes days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the receiver and
severally
days for the writer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the feedback from the receiver. The convenience of sending messages and mails in the comfort of our rooms, bedrooms and offices using internet networking is simple awesome. Messages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
is received
and replied to in seconds and minutes. While cybercrime is on the rise, one
is advised
not to reveal his/her password to anyone and should be security
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
conscious


Again,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
newspaper in those days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest news, which has
been made
way simpler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
by information technology.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
news can
be read
by browsing the web or by tuning in to any channel of your choice of a television set connected to a decoder.

In conclusion
, internet networking is the best thing to have happened to our generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one need to apply self-discipline to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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