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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home leisure and work activities To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages v.11

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home leisure and work activities 11
It is true that information technology is now affecting various aspects of our lives and playing an important role in our daily activities. While this development still has its own drawbacks, I think there are far more benefits. On the one hand, the domination of information technology has had some negative impacts on our daily lives. Through the Internet, people now can perform various tasks by just some simple clicks on the computer. However, it is leading to the problem of people being obsessed with the virtual world and starting to lose interactions in real life. For example, most young adults prefer chatting with their friends on the Internet than having face-to-face conversations. The technology advances also make people become lazier, therefore, affect their levels of health and fitness. More and more people are taking up watching TV or surfing the Internet as their hobbies instead of playing sports or doing outdoor activities. On the other hand, I believe that the development of computer scienece has made a lot of positive changes to our daily lives. In home activities, technology allows people to do their houseworks in a more convenient and efficient way. Housewives no longer need to go to the supermarket to by groceries and food, instead, they can stay at home and do their shopping on online markets. In leisure activities, we now have a wide variety of entertainments which include high-tech experiences such as multi-dimensions cinema or virtual exhibitions. People also have access to the rich online sources of entertainment and can easily turn their house into a mini cinema or theater. In work activities, the invention of machines makes it easier to do hard labor works and helps increase the productivity of producing goods. In conclusion, information technology is altering our lives in both positive and negative ways. However, the benefits of this development are undeniable.
It is true that information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
affecting various aspects of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. While this development
still
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
drawbacks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are far more benefits.

On the one hand, the domination of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Through the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can perform various tasks by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple clicks on the computer.
However
, it is leading to the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being obsessed
with the virtual world and starting to lose interactions in real life.
For example
, most young adults prefer chatting with their friends on the Internet than having face-to-face conversations. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advances
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lazier,
therefore
, affect their levels of health and fitness. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking up watching TV or surfing the Internet as their hobbies
instead
of playing sports or doing outdoor activities.

On the other hand
, I believe that the development of computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
scienece
has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. In home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do their
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseworks
in a more convenient and efficient way. Housewives no longer need to go to the supermarket to
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
groceries and food,
instead
, they can stay at home and do their shopping on online markets. In leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a wide variety of entertainments which include high-tech experiences such as multi-dimensions cinema or virtual exhibitions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
have access to the rich online sources of entertainment and can
easily
turn their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
into a mini cinema or theater. In work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the invention of machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
labor works and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
increase the productivity of producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

In conclusion
, information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is altering our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ways.
However
, the benefits of this development are undeniable.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home leisure and work activities 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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