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Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? v.4

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? v. 4
In the contemporary world, human activities pose a threat on natural life and ecosystem. As a result, many species are extinct and loss of biodiversity becomes an emergent issue. In this essay, I will figure out the causes of this catastrophe and the ways to handle with it. Evidently, the presence of human beings menaces significantly to the wildlife. First, many species are endangered due to the destruction of their natural habitats. People clear-cut the forests, which are the main living environment of an array of unique animals, to generate arable land and building site. Therefore, wild animals lose their home, food resources and extinct. Second, because of some people’s luxury lifestyle, poaching animals such as tiger, bear, rhinocerous for their skin, meat or horns becomes more and more serious. Riches frequently suppose animals’features are valuable and precious, so they pay money to hunt them. As a result, the number of individuals decreases rapidly and diverse ecological system faces a big peril. However, we can lend our hand to preserve natural life. First, governments should concern more in wildlife management by establishing more preservation areas and national parks. If animals can be protected well in these places, they will breed more individuals and we will be less worried about their circumstance of extinction. Second, we should have a detailed legal system to punish the illegal poaching. The sentences should be more strict to guarantee no more people hunting wild animals and clear-cutting the forest. The more doing well these measures the more species are preserved. In conclusion, although biodiversity is coping with many threats, we still can protect them by taking various solutions.
In the contemporary world, human activities pose a threat on natural life and ecosystem.
As a result
,
many
species are extinct and loss of biodiversity becomes an emergent issue. In this essay, I will figure out the causes of this catastrophe and the ways to handle with it.

Evidently
, the presence of human beings menaces
significantly
to the wildlife.
First
,
many
species
are endangered
due to the destruction of their natural habitats.
People
clear
-
cut
the forests, which are the main living environment of an array of unique
animals
, to generate arable land and building site.
Therefore
, wild
animals
lose their home, food resources and extinct. Second,
because
of
some
people
’s luxury lifestyle, poaching
animals
such as tiger, bear,
rhinocerous
for their skin, meat or horns becomes more and more serious. Riches
frequently
suppose animals’features are valuable and precious,
so
they pay money to hunt them.
As a result
, the number of individuals decreases
rapidly
and diverse ecological system faces a
big
peril.

However
, we can lend our hand to preserve natural life.
First
,
governments
should concern more in wildlife management by establishing more preservation areas and national parks. If
animals
can
be protected
well in these places, they will breed more
individuals and
we will be less worried about their circumstance of extinction. Second, we should have a detailed legal system to punish the illegal poaching. The sentences should be more strict to guarantee no more
people
hunting wild
animals
and
clear
-cutting the forest. The more doing well these measures the more species
are preserved
.

In conclusion
, although biodiversity is coping with
many
threats, we
still
can protect them by taking various solutions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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