Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Indviduals can do nothing to improve the environment only the goverment and large companies can make a difference, to what extent you agree or disagree? v.1

Indviduals can do nothing to improve the environment only the goverment and large companies can make a difference, v. 1
Fast food has become increasingly popular in different parts of the world. Consequently, a vast number of people are suffering from health issues such as obesity. It is no doubt that the public authorities should take an immediate action to this problem. For instance, while others might suggest imposing higher tax rates, I strongly disagree for several purposes which will be argued about in this essay. We cannot turn a blind eye on the hazardous effects of the consumption of this food. Heart problems and other diseases have spread due to eating a plethora of these meals. Taxing them heavily will increase the governments' revenue. As a result, it will be able to spend more on healthcare facilities, which will improve the overall health conditions. Although critics argue about the dangers of junk food, raising the taxes might not be a preferred solution. This kind of food is well known for being relatively cheap, which means that it is affordable for people of different levels. If tax rates are increased, final prices will be highly expensive. Indeed, this might increase the poverty rate. Furthermore, it is worth noting that convenience food is demand inelastic. In other words, consumers would still purchase it in spite of the rise in prices, therefore, the goal of reducing the consumption will not be met. To conclude, a higher tax rate is definitely not the best choice for the various reasons which were previously discussed in this essay. From my own perspective, I recommend using other methods to discourage the purchase of such food. For example, awareness campaigns would be more effective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become
increasingly
popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
Consequently
, a vast number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffering from health issues such as obesity. It is no doubt that the public authorities should take an immediate action to this problem.
For instance
, while others might suggest imposing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
, I
strongly
disagree for several purposes which will
be argued
about in this essay.

We cannot turn a blind eye on the hazardous effects of the consumption of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Heart problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
diseases have spread due to eating a plethora of these meals. Taxing them
heavily
will increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' revenue.
As a result
, it will be able to spend more on healthcare facilities, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
health conditions.

Although critics argue about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
might not be a preferred solution. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is well known for being
relatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, which means that it is affordable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are increased
, final prices will be
highly
expensive.
Indeed
, this might increase the poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
Furthermore
, it is worth noting that convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is demand inelastic. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, consumers would
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the rise in prices,
therefore
, the goal of reducing the consumption will not
be met
.

To conclude
, a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is definitely not the best choice for the various reasons which were previously discussed in this essay. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I recommend using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods to discourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, awareness campaigns would be more effective.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Indviduals can do nothing to improve the environment only the goverment and large companies can make a difference, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts