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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 5
Air pollution kills 800 people every hour or 13 every minute, accounting for more than three times the amount of people who die from malaria. In my point of view, individuals do not have the competence to make the environment undergo a positive change. However, the governing bodies and huge companies can make an influenced alteration. Although Global warming is a tremendous issue that human concern about, there are only some trivial appeals that are overlooked and underwhelmed. It is indisputable that even if there were plenty of photographs and drawings precisely expressing this problematic topic, they solely approached people who used the social network. There was a trinity of students standing on ices with ropes surrounded their necks. If the ice broke, they would die, which reflected the consequence of damaging the environment. It might catch the attention of residents temporarily, but our problem is raising a considerable establishment. Despite all the invested and energetic attempts of individuals, nothing has been changed. On the other hand, governments and powerful companies can make alterations via investments and incitations. The reason why separate activities always fail is that they are not able to raise enough funds. In that aspect, the governing bodies and many wealthy companies can together resolve without difficulties. The previous invitations had been skipped due to subjective and neglectful opinions. At present, it is necessary to officially announce the international demand that everyone must protect and improve the environment. To summarize, individual attempts are not remarkable, while the governments and huge companies play a crucial role in altering the environmental issue. Owing to being the contributing factor influencing the environment, we are responsible for defending it.
Air pollution kills 800
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
every hour or 13 every minute, accounting for more than three times the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from malaria. In my point of view, individuals do not have the competence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the environment undergo a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
However
, the governing bodies and huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an influenced alteration.

Although Global warming is a tremendous issue that human concern about, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trivial appeals that
are overlooked
and underwhelmed. It is indisputable that even if there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of photographs and drawings
precisely
expressing this problematic topic, they
solely
approached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the social network. There was a trinity of students standing on ices with ropes surrounded their necks. If the ice broke, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
, which reflected the consequence of damaging the environment. It might catch the attention of residents
temporarily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our problem is raising a considerable establishment. Despite all the invested and energetic attempts of individuals, nothing has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
alterations via investments and
Possible spelling mistake found.
incitations
. The reason why separate activities always fail is that they are not able to raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds. In that aspect, the governing bodies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can together resolve without difficulties. The previous invitations had
been skipped
due to subjective and neglectful opinions. At present, it is necessary to
officially
announce the international demand that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
protect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the environment.

To summarize
, individual attempts are not remarkable, while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
play a crucial role in altering the environmental issue. Owing to being the contributing factor influencing the environment, we are responsible for defending it.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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