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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only govt and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only govt and large companies can make a difference. v. 1
This debate regarding the betterment of the environment is ongoing. The questions of accountability remain unanswered. We blame on the Governments and they blame us. Let us further discuss this topic below. Firstly, we will discuss about individuals contribution. It is our duty to keep clean and plant more trees. For instance, even the beloved Mahatma Gandhi once said, that if you want to see the change, be the change. He reminds us the power of nature. Furthermore, to safeguard our future generations from problems like asthma, we need to take care of the forestation around us. Nowadays, we are cutting trees rapidly than growing them, which seems egregious. Imagine, if everyone present today on the Earth, even put one seed in the ground, it can grow so much greenery in the future. Next, we will discuss the role of the governments and large companies. Since, both have huge amounts of money, power, they can play a vital role in saving the environment. For example, the lawmakers can make it mandatory for everyone to grow vegetation. They can also make rules for the companies, dealing with removing of the forests, to grow one also, in its place. Multinational companies can invest in projects regarding helping our planet. To conclude, I will suggest, that everyone's contribution will be needed, if we want to save our mother nature. Individuals can play their part by helping the government in their projects and vice versa. This is the only battle, that we humans cannot lose, because we do not have anywhere to go. We only have this globe, that we call our home.
This debate regarding the betterment of the environment is ongoing. The questions of accountability remain unanswered. We blame on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and they blame us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
further
discuss this topic below.

Firstly
, we will
Did you mean simply "discuss individuals"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about individuals
contribution. It is our duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
clean and plant more trees.
For instance
, even the beloved Mahatma Gandhi once said, that if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. He reminds us the power of nature.
Furthermore
, to safeguard our future generations from problems like asthma, we need to take care of
Consider using "the surrounding forestation".
the forestation around us
. Nowadays, we are cutting trees
Use "(rapidly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
rapidly
than growing them, which seems egregious. Imagine, if everyone present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
on the Earth, even put one seed in the ground, it can grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much greenery in the future.

Next
, we will discuss the role of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Since, both have huge amounts of money, power, they can play a vital role in saving the environment.
For example
, the lawmakers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory for everyone to grow vegetation. They can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, dealing with removing of the forests, to grow one
also
, in its place. Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can invest in projects regarding helping our planet.

To conclude
, I will suggest, that everyone's contribution will
be needed
, if we want to save our mother nature. Individuals can play their part by helping the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in their projects and vice versa. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
battle, that we humans cannot lose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we do not have anywhere to go. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have this globe, that we call our home.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only govt and large companies can make a difference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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