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Independent Writing The government wants to fund one of the following areas to improve children's education. Which one do you think is better? Why? -hire more teachers to teach in a small class - make preschool education before kindergarten mandatory v.1

Independent Writing The government wants to fund one of the following areas to improve children's education. Which one do you think is better? Why? -hire more teachers to teach in a small class - make preschool education before kindergarten mandatory v. 1
Indoor or outdoor exercises are performed by the people through a varying preferences. Since both groups have their own explanation behind their preference, this essay will illustrate those briefly. Afterwards, it will shed some light on the rationale of preferring outdoor exercise over indoors. To begin, running can be mentioned as the best form of physical training. Through running, all body parts usually remain active and there is an increased blood flow, which is good to prevent hypertension or diabetes. Since running is tiring and somewhat boring, outdoor activities may allow the runners a pleasant view of nature as well as the comforting breeze. Consequently, scenarios like this usually encourage people to maintain the regularity of exercise. Indoor activities, in contrast, are less attractive or de-motivating. Also, long-range swimming or cycling tours are such trainings that are high-yielding and cannot be properly arranged indoor. Alternatively, indoor activities which involve instruments, namely treadmill, weightlifting tools or others, allow the people reaping the benefit of modern techniques that also helps to keep a good exercise trend. Usually, people from the cities that are crowded or lack outdoor places, prefer indoor exercises to avoid any kind of hindrance. Also in tropical cities that are so hot to allow a comfortable outing, indoor training is still a good option. In my opinion, whatever the obstacles are, running or long walking cannot be replaced by any kind of indoor activities. In Dhaka, where 20 million people reside in the congested capital, people are still participating in outdoor exercises namely cross country or cycling, that require travel out of the city. Health care professionals too encouraging outdoor activities as seen by their outdoor activities like Half Marathon or Walk Day during their awareness events. In China, infrastructures are built as such that people are bound to have a brief walk to reach their workplace or home, which in turn shows the beneficiary effect over their urban health condition. To conclude, although gymnasiums or sport centres will have their own role, people should be encouraged to outdoor exercises in order to improve their experience and most importantly overall physical health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Indoor
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are performed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through a varying preferences. Since both groups have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
explanation behind their preference, this essay will illustrate those
briefly
. Afterwards, it will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the rationale of preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
over indoors.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
can
be mentioned
as the best form of physical training. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
, all body parts
usually
remain active and there is an increased blood flow, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
hypertension or diabetes. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
is tiring and somewhat boring,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the runners a pleasant view of nature
as well
as the comforting breeze.
Consequently
, scenarios like this
usually
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain the regularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
in contrast
, are less attractive or
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivating
.
Also
, long-range swimming or cycling tours are such trainings that are high-yielding and cannot be
properly
arranged indoor.

Alternatively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which involve instruments,
namely
treadmill, weightlifting tools or others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reaping the benefit of modern techniques that
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
trend.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the cities that
are crowded
or lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
places, prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
to avoid any kind of hindrance.
Also
in tropical cities that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
hot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a comfortable outing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indoor
training is
still
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option.

In my opinion, whatever the obstacles are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
or long walking cannot
be replaced
by any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. In Dhaka, where 20 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reside in the congested capital,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
namely
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cross country
or cycling, that require travel out of the city. Health care professionals too encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like Half Marathon or Walk Day during their awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. In China, infrastructures
are built
as such that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bound
to have a brief walk to reach their workplace or home, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the beneficiary effect over their urban health condition.

To conclude
, although gymnasiums or sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
will have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
role,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their experience and most
importantly
overall
physical health.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Independent Writing The government wants to fund one of the following areas to improve children's education. Which one do you think is better? Why? -hire more teachers to teach in a small class - make preschool education before kindergarten mandatory v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
353 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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