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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.249

Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 249
It has been noted that numerous social concerns are related to juveniles. It is argued that this is happening because parents are not able to take care and give enough time to their adolescents. I completely agree with the statement. This essay will discuss firstly that because of spending less time with their kids, parents are not able to inculcate good values in them and secondly, if children are not monitored by their parents regularly, they easily get to indulge in bad activities; followed by a reasonable conclusion. A myriad of parents, have a hectic schedule due to their professional life and spend less time with their children. Because of this, they are not able to give them good family values which are very important in an individual's life to become a better citizen. Such children usually misbehave with others or create trouble for others. For example, a recent study done by the Cambridge University, in various school across the UK, found out that 90% of the students who were flagged as mischievous or bullies by the school staff, get to spend very little time with their family. Moreover, when adolescents spend less time with their family, it becomes easier for them to get engaged in bad activities. Teenagers easily get influenced by watching various bad activities around them and they try to mimic the same to look cool and relevant around people. Therefore, if parents are not present most of the time to look after their kids, it becomes easier to adopt wrong habits. To illustrate, a survey done by a big corporate house, suggests that most of the people started smoking when their parents were not with them and that eventually became a habit. To conclude, I completely agree that several societal issues relate to youngsters because fathers and mothers are not able to provide enough time for their kids and take care of them. Therefore youngsters are growing with a dearth of good family values and indulging in several bad habits.
It has
been noted
that numerous social concerns
are related
to juveniles. It
is argued
that this is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to take care and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their adolescents. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. This essay will discuss
firstly
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of spending less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their kids,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to inculcate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values in them and
secondly
, if children are not monitored by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
regularly
, they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
activities; followed by a reasonable conclusion.

A myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, have a hectic schedule due to their professional life and spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children.
Because of this
, they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to give them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
family values which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in an individual's life to become a better citizen. Such children
usually
misbehave with others or create trouble for others.
For example
, a recent study done by the Cambridge University, in various school across the UK, found out that 90% of the students who
were flagged
as mischievous or bullies by the school staff,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family.

Moreover
, when adolescents spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family, it becomes easier for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by watching various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
activities around
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they try to mimic the same to look cool and relevant around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not present most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after their kids, it becomes easier to adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
habits. To illustrate, a survey done by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, suggests that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
smoking when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were not with them and that
eventually
became a habit.

To conclude
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that several societal issues relate to youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fathers and mothers are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their kids and take care of them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
youngsters are growing with a dearth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
family values and indulging in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 249

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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