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Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v.5

Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v. 5
Whether or not international tourism should be expanded has been a matter of debate since the beginning of the twenty-first century. The dramatic increase in oversea tourists can promote their understanding about the different cultures, while others argue that a great number of foreign visitors come to new countries will make local against them because of distinct cultures. In the first place, there are some reasons why international travels would bring benefits for both visitors and locals. International travels can open up opportunities for business development throughout the world, as more and more multi-national companies do across the world. Foreigners should learn the culture of a country in order to contact easier with indigenous people. For instance, when westerners visit to a country of Asia like Korea, they should dress Hanbok once, a traditional costume of Korean, to express their respect to the local cultures. In turn, locals should show their standard of healthcare and education to visitors in exchanges for their trust. They should share a necessary to each other to improve living standards for themselves. In the second place, visitors are sometimes conflicting, opposing to their lifestyle perspective in the nation they visited. Because the cultural diversity and the different social background make foreigners and local inhabitants feel unsuitable, even culture shock. Since disobeying rulers and cultures of local communities, some foreigners litter indiscriminately causing environmental pollution, pose a serious threat to local resident living. In conclusion, although the international travel developing cause some disadvantages to people between countries, I strongly believe that there are a lot of benefits to improve the relation of people in modern communities.
Whether or not
international
tourism should
be expanded
has been a matter of debate since the beginning of the twenty-
first
century. The dramatic increase in oversea tourists can promote their understanding about the
different
cultures
, while others argue that a great number of foreign
visitors
come
to new
countries
will
make
local
against them
because
of distinct cultures.

In the
first
place, there are
some
reasons why
international
travels would bring benefits for both
visitors
and
locals
.
International
travels can open up opportunities for business development throughout the world, as more and more multi-national
companies
do across the world. Foreigners should learn the
culture
of a
country
in order to contact easier with indigenous
people
.
For instance
, when westerners visit to a
country
of Asia like Korea, they should dress
Hanbok
once, a traditional costume of Korean, to express their respect to the
local
cultures
. In turn,
locals
should
show
their standard of healthcare and education to
visitors
in exchanges for their trust. They should share a necessary to each other to
improve
living standards for themselves.

In the second place,
visitors
are
sometimes
conflicting, opposing to their lifestyle perspective in the nation they visited.
Because
the cultural diversity and the
different
social background
make
foreigners and
local
inhabitants feel unsuitable, even
culture
shock. Since disobeying rulers and
cultures
of
local
communities,
some
foreigners litter
indiscriminately
causing environmental pollution, pose a serious threat to
local
resident living.

In conclusion
, although the
international
travel developing cause
some
disadvantages to
people
between
countries
, I
strongly
believe that there are
a lot of
benefits to
improve
the relation of
people
in modern communities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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