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Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v.1

Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v. 1
Nowadays, transnational travel has become ever so affordable for people, creating a boom in the global tourism industry. Along with other benefits, however, this phenomenon has prompted concerns about whether this trend will enable people to learn about different cultures or promote hostility between the locals and foreigners. It is the author’s view that, despite the sparkling minor tension, the upsurge in global journey could bring people of different backgrounds closer. Contracting to some people’s worry, tourists very often welcomed by the local inhabitants. The locals know that visiting foreigners often bring much money to spend during their stay which will greatly benefit the nation’s economy. Thus, being nice and friendly to foreign visitors would be appropriate and increase the likelihood of their future returns. Many tourist destinations are well-known because of their welcoming attitudes such as Thailand, Singapore, and Iceland. The second notion that supports this argument is rooted in the fact that people of different regions have now got to know each other better. The mutual understanding of dissimilar countries which was achieved by better communication and more affordable travel has reduced the hostile atmosphere between nations that used to be enemies. For instance, the Arabians who once considered Americans as their foes have now built a concrete relation with them in many fields. According to the above analysis, one should never take transnational travel as a hindrance to global cooperation. Alternatively, it should be viewed as a facilitating factor that strengthens relationships among nations.
Nowadays, transnational travel has become ever
so
affordable for
people
, creating a boom in the global tourism industry. Along with other benefits,
however
, this phenomenon has prompted concerns about whether this trend will enable
people
to learn about
different
cultures or promote hostility between the locals and foreigners. It is the author’s view that, despite the sparkling minor tension, the upsurge in global journey could bring
people
of
different
backgrounds closer.

Contracting to
some
people’s
worry, tourists
very
often
welcomed by the local inhabitants. The locals know that visiting foreigners
often
bring much money to spend during their stay which will
greatly
benefit the nation’s economy.
Thus
, being nice and friendly to foreign visitors would be appropriate and increase the likelihood of their future returns.
Many
tourist destinations are well-known
because
of their welcoming attitudes such as Thailand, Singapore, and Iceland.

The second notion that supports this argument
is rooted
in the fact that
people
of
different
regions have
now
got
to know each other better. The mutual understanding of dissimilar countries which
was achieved
by better communication and more affordable travel has
reduced
the hostile atmosphere between nations that
used
to be enemies.
For instance
, the Arabians who once considered Americans as their foes have
now
built a concrete relation with them in
many
fields.

According to the above analysis, one should never take transnational travel as a hindrance to global cooperation.
Alternatively
, it should
be viewed
as a facilitating factor that strengthens relationships among nations.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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