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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? v.31

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 31
Some people believe that the best way to reduce traffic and pollution from transportation is rising the cost of fuel. This essay disagrees with this solution, a better way is changing personal behaviour, and improve the public transport together. Initially, a good way to decrease the traffic and pollution problem is changing a personal lifestyle. The government has to promote the benefit from using public transport more than rise the petrol price. For example, in Thailand, we used to increase the cost of fuel from 20 Baht to 40 Baht from 20 years ago, but the number of cars still grown up. Likewise, the carbon monoxide also increasing over the period. In contrast, when the government has an advertising about the mass transportation, most of people willing to take it and they no need to go back to use the car again. This example clearly explains that the controlling price policy is not affected to those problems. In addition, the effective solution is improving the public transport, such as bus and tube, sprawling to suburban and rural. Because it can use electricity to generate power, so it can reduce those issues. For instance, when I went to work, from my home in suburban to urban, I used a tube every day. It was easier and taken a shorter time than a car, as well as, other people was not using a car but changed to travel by the tube. If the country had not spent to develop the mass transit, people will use a vehicle same the past, and those problems will remain. In conclusion, the changing of personal behaviour to decrease using the motor vehicle can affect on traffic and pollution issue more than the petrol price increasing. Furthermore, development of the mass transportation should happen at the same time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic and pollution from transportation is rising the cost of fuel. This essay disagrees with this solution, a better way is changing personal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the public transport together.

Initially
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to decrease the traffic and pollution problem is changing a personal lifestyle. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
promote the benefit from using public transport more than rise the petrol price.
For example
, in Thailand, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to increase the cost of fuel from 20 Baht to 40 Baht from 20 years ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
still
grown up.
Likewise
, the carbon monoxide
also
increasing over the period.
In contrast
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has an advertising about the mass transportation, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
willing to take
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they no need to go back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
again. This example
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that the controlling price policy is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to those problems.

In addition
, the effective solution is improving the public transport, such as bus and tube, sprawling to suburban and rural.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electricity to generate power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
those issues.
For instance
, when I went to work, from my home in suburban to urban, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a tube every day. It was easier and taken a shorter time than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
as well
as, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was not using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to travel by the tube. If the country had not spent to develop the mass transit,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a vehicle same the past, and those problems will remain.

In conclusion
, the changing of personal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to decrease using the motor vehicle can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on traffic and pollution issue more than the petrol price increasing.
Furthermore
, development of the mass transportation should happen at the same time.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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