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Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks? v.3

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? v. 3
Nowadays, more and more students choose to study abroad. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages to students and the countries. Let us start with the benefits of study overseas first. First and foremost, it helps students improve their language skills. The best way to speak a language like native speakers is living with them. Overseas students will have a chance to develop their speaking. Second, students will have more opportunities to find a well-paid job. Many students try as hard as they can to enrol in an abroad reputable university. The reason is that the qualifications they gained overseas can open doors to better job opportunities. Final, students will have more life experiences when they go abroad. When you go to a country that you have never been to, you might be confused. But then you will soon adapt to it. You also have a chance to broaden your knowledge about the culture of this country. It makes you wiser and more confident. But on the other hand, study abroad leads to many drawbacks. Firstly, living away from home can be challenging. Students are on their own and all alone. It means that they have to take care of themselves, and they do not have any relatives or neighbours to ask for help. It quite hard for many students who still depend on their parents can adapt to this immediately. Secondly, the language barrier can cause difficulties. For example, if you go to the USA for studying English, but your speaking skill is not good enough, you may find it difficult to make other people understand what you say. Sometimes, it also leads to culture shock. Finally, study abroad is expensive, especially the university fee and the cost of living. Students have to do part-time jobs to pay for their accommodation and university fee. Many students are exhausted while they both study and work. In conclusion, study abroad gives students many good chances to develop themselves, but they need to think carefully about it before deciding to study abroad or not.
Nowadays, more and more
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students
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
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abroad
. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages to
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students
and the countries.

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Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the benefits of
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study
overseas
first
.
First
and foremost, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The best way to speak a language like native speakers is living with them. Overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have a chance to develop their speaking. Second,
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students
will have more opportunities to find a well-paid job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
try as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as they can to enrol in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
reputable university. The reason is that the qualifications they gained overseas can open doors to better job opportunities. Final,
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students
will have more life experiences when they go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. When you go to a country that you have never been to, you might
be confused
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
adapt to it. You
also
have a chance to broaden your knowledge about the culture of this country. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you wiser and more confident.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
,
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study
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abroad
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks.
Firstly
, living away from home can be challenging.
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Students
are on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and all alone. It means that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves, and they do not have any relatives or
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
It seems that a verb is missing.
It
quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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students
who
still
depend on their parents can adapt to this immediately.
Secondly
, the language barrier can cause difficulties.
For example
, if you go to the USA for studying English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, you may find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand what you say.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it
also
leads to culture shock.
Finally
,
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study
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abroad
is expensive,
especially
the university fee and the cost of living.
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Students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do part-time jobs to pay for their accommodation and university fee.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are exhausted
while they both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and work.

In conclusion
,
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study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chances to develop themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
carefully
about it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
or not.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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