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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 5
Nowadays, there is a big issue that many people don't know how to become a good person in the society. It is undeniable that some people think that they should teach their children well. Though, some group of people still think that teaching their kid to be a good person should be the school task. From my point of view, teaching someone to be a great person of the country should be both parents and school job, Both are described in the following paragraph. Children have to go to school to learn educational things and how to be surviving in the society to socialize with their friends and teachers. However, their parents should teach them how to well behaved to another person in society. The little thing that they should know when they were very young, such as learning that they have to apologize when they are doing something wrong. That should be their parent responsibility. On the contrary, there are a lot of things that the children could not learn or study from their home. For example, how behave and understand the school rule and knowing that if they done something really bad they will get the punishment from the school. This significant part should the teacher job to deal with them. To conclude, Both school and parents have the responsibility to teach a child to be a great person. They have different part to do with this issue. Though, it is nearly to be the same, but it's different. We need both to teach the student how to be a person with needed behaviour. It cannot be just the parent part or the school part.
Nowadays, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't know how to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in the society. It is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their children well.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teaching their kid to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
task. From my point of view, teaching someone to be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
of the country should be both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
job, Both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the following paragraph.

Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to learn educational things and how to be surviving in the society to socialize with their friends and teachers.
However
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them how to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in society. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
thing that they should know when they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young, such as learning that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
apologize when they are doing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. That should be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
responsibility.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that the children could not learn or study from their home.
For example
, how behave and understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and knowing that if they
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "did"?
done
something
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the punishment from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
should the teacher job to deal with them.

To conclude
, Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
a child to be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
to do with this issue. Though, it is
nearly
to be the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

We need both to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the student how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with needed
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. It cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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