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Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city center. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city center. v. 1
While introducing the topic above, the use of Automobile's inclined drastically, and it is leading towards a plethora of problems in most of the global areas. Hence, private vehicles have been banned by the government of some global cities. Some of the disadvantages referencing the above problem would be harmful gases, Which were released during the process of fuel combustion, and I agree to a greater extent that, Which will open the gates for future problems. One of the main reason referencing the complication of using own vehicles is high on the pollution. When the amount of vehicle employment is more, the smoke containing dangerous chemicals will be released such as carbon monoxide. While discussing about this, a good starting point to mention would be global warming, where the earth's temperature would be raised to higher degrees. Another point to be considered is sound phobia, Which creates a lot of health issues like severe headaches, trauma, etc. . Secondly, the time to travel is more, and the people get delayed in their work waiting for a green signal. The amount of congestion is rocketed if the vehicle got high, Meanwhile, the amount of accidents happening also grown up. To discuss in detail, the first point is the growth of personal cars in cities. However, the government introduced a wide variety of rules, but still people are facing accidents. To summarize, the government had banned using private automobiles from the city centre, but still people are unaware, and travelling by own transport, Which causes the disturbances, that were discussed above. Therefore, these vehicles can create a lot of disturbances in our life. I recommend that, these private vehicles must be reduced in order to control the problem.
While introducing the topic above, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Automobile's inclined
drastically
, and it is leading towards a plethora of problems in most of the global areas.
Hence
, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
have
been banned
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
global cities.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
disadvantages referencing the above problem would be harmful gases, Which
were released
during the process of fuel combustion, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a greater extent that, Which will open the gates for future problems.

One of the main reason referencing the complication of using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is high on the pollution. When the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
employment is more, the smoke containing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
chemicals will
be released
such as carbon monoxide. While
Did you mean simply "discussing this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about this
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
starting point to mention would be global warming, where the earth's temperature would
be raised
to higher degrees. Another point to
be considered
is sound phobia, Which creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health issues like severe headaches, trauma, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.


Secondly
, the time to travel is more, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
delayed in their work waiting for a green signal. The amount of congestion
is rocketed
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
high, Meanwhile, the amount of accidents happening
also
grown up. To discuss in detail, the
first
point is the growth of personal cars in cities.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
introduced a wide variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing accidents.

To summarize
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had banned using private automobiles from the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unaware, and travelling by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transport, Which causes the disturbances, that
were discussed
above.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disturbances in our life. I recommend that, these private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in order to control the problem.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city center. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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