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Increases in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem? v.1

Increases in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
There is a widespread saying that an ever-increasing pace of consumer goods manufactured will lead to more adverse effects on our natural world. There are several reasons obviously cause this severe dilemma, and solutions could certainly be taken to tackle it immediately. This alarming issue could be contributed by some following factors. First and foremost, the increase in the production of buyer products would trigger the natural resource depletion. Specifically, the more people produce user goods, the more natural resources are used during the manufacturing process, leading to the ecological imbalance. Deforestation is an evident example to satisfy the high demand of space for factories and plants, which can cause a host of serious complication for human beings like climate change and desertification. Another important factor is that more industrial waste is discharged directly from manufacturing factories into the environment. Consequently, this can lead to global warming, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future. In terms of solutions, it is believed that both individuals and governments should join hands to mitigate the obstacle. At the level of individuals, each person should attempt to reduce their unnecessary consumption and change their throw-away behaviour. As a result, the decline in the demand of purchaser products will be the premise of slowing down the environmental degradation. Besides, national authorities should implement policies which force manufacturing factories adopt waste treatment systems and energy-saving equipment. Such these effective systems would clean industrial sewage before dumping it into the environment, or even recycle the waste for the next production. In conclusion, our planet is severely impacted by the increase in the production of customer goods. To address this issue, individuals and governments could certainly put effort to change the consumption behaviour as well as force the companies take responsibility for the impact they have on the environment.
There is a widespread saying that an ever-increasing pace of consumer
goods
manufactured will lead to more adverse effects on our natural world. There are several reasons
obviously
cause this severe dilemma, and solutions could
certainly
be taken
to tackle it immediately.

This alarming issue could
be contributed
by
some
following factors.
First
and foremost, the increase in the production of buyer products would trigger the natural resource depletion.
Specifically
, the more
people
produce user
goods
, the more natural resources are
used
during the manufacturing process, leading to the ecological imbalance. Deforestation is an evident example to satisfy the high demand of space for factories and plants, which can cause a host of serious complication for human beings like climate
change
and desertification. Another
important
factor is that more industrial waste
is discharged
directly
from manufacturing factories into the environment.
Consequently
, this can lead to global warming, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future.

In terms of solutions, it
is believed
that both individuals and
governments
should
join
hands to mitigate the obstacle. At the level of individuals, each person should attempt to
reduce
their unnecessary consumption and
change
their throw-away
behaviour
.
As a result
, the decline in the demand of purchaser products will be the premise of slowing down the environmental degradation.
Besides
, national authorities should implement policies which force manufacturing factories adopt waste treatment systems and energy-saving equipment. Such these effective systems would clean industrial sewage
before
dumping it into the environment, or even recycle the waste for the
next
production.

In conclusion
, our planet is
severely
impacted by the increase in the production of customer
goods
. To address this issue, individuals and
governments
could
certainly
put effort to
change
the consumption
behaviour
as well
as force the
companies
take responsibility for the impact they have on the environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay Increases in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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