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The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.1

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
The increase of consumer products that affect a lot of problems to the environment. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem. Nowadays, it is true that the growth of society as well as the demand of consumption goods serves for population. So that to satisfy their desire, a lot of factors have to manufacture in this section. Due to this, their infrastructures do not install the modern drainage to deal with industrial waste so they throw all of this trash which are harmful to the environment. For example, the monosodium glutamate factory called Ajinomoto, they discharged their trash into the water causing water pollution in this area. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above. Firstly, the authority should be controlled strictly and only allow which company to have environmental protection standards. Secondly, individuals should use canvas bags instead of nylon and increase consume the organic food. By these ways, we can contribute to decrease environment pollution and save the environment from manufacturing that things. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to the environmental pollution caused by produce consumer goods and measures should be implemented to tackle this issue.
The increase of consumer products that affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. This essay will look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary causes of this and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to the problem.

Nowadays, it is true that the growth of society
as well
as the demand of consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
serves for population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that to satisfy their desire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manufacture in this section. Due to this, their infrastructures do not install the modern drainage to deal with industrial waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they throw all of this trash which are harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
monosodium
Possible spelling mistake found.
glutamate
factory called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ajinomoto
, they discharged their trash into the water causing water pollution in this area.

There are several actions that could
be taken
to mitigate the problem mentioned above.
Firstly
, the authority should
be controlled
strictly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to have environmental protection standards.
Secondly
, individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
canvas bags
instead
of nylon and increase consume the organic food. By these ways, we can contribute to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
pollution and save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
from manufacturing that things.

In conclusion
, there are various factors leading to the environmental pollution caused by produce consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and measures should
be implemented
to tackle this issue.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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