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In your opinion, which modern invention or scientific discovery has affected society the most? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

In your opinion, which modern invention or scientific discovery has affected society the most? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, a tremendous amount of rubbish materials is produced. These products are harmful to the living organism. However, I believe that these rubbish materials, production can be taken care of by the governments. This essay will narrate the reasons for the increase in production and the ways in which the governments can help to reduce it. Firstly, companies provide goods with suitable packaging, which needs to be handled carefully as they are fragile and can be damaged. But, these goods are delivered in bulk. Due to which a large number of packaging items are prepared to safely deliver them to the destination. These items are thrown into dustbins, where they pile up in the dumping grounds. Therefore, an increase in the number of production contributes to increase in the amount of useless materials. Secondly, People are buying many products which are non-biodegradable, such as alcohol, canned food and plastic cans or bottles. These non-degradable products cannot be recycled and harm the animals, birds and other organisms. They also make the land barren and occupy vast areas of wastelands. For, instance, plastic bags made of polythene were used before the invention of paper bags in India. There were incidents where cattle such as cows at the food with the bag, which led to the death of many cows in India. Polythene bags do not recycle and hence paper bags were invented. This was one such instance where the government decided to intervene and decided to charge fines for those individuals who are seen using such bags. Considering, the above scenario government can help by improving the current laws in the country regarding waste management. Packaging of various goods cannot be avoided, but arrangements can be made to reduce the pile of scrap which can be quickly created to manures by segregating dry garbage and wet garbage. Packaging boxes are made of cardboard which can be easily recycled as well. Also, bio-degradable stuff should be used wherever possible. In conclusion, waste products are increasing as people are buying more products. Production and packaging are required and cannot be stopped, but the government can take the right move to mitigate the requirement of useless garbage by introducing proper waste management policies.
Nowadays, a tremendous amount of rubbish materials
is produced
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are harmful to the living organism.
However
, I believe that these rubbish materials,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
can
be taken
care of by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. This essay will narrate the reasons for the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and the ways in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
, which needs to
be handled
carefully
as they are fragile and can
be damaged
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are delivered
in bulk. Due to which
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
items
are prepared
to
safely
deliver them to the destination. These items
are thrown
into dustbins, where they pile up in the dumping grounds.
Therefore
, an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
contributes to increase in the amount of useless materials.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are non-biodegradable, such as alcohol, canned food and plastic cans or bottles. These non-degradable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cannot
be recycled
and harm the animals, birds and other organisms. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the land barren and occupy vast areas of wastelands. For, instance, plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
made of polythene were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
in India. There were incidents where cattle such as cows at the food with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
, which led to the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cows in India. Polythene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
do not recycle and
hence
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
were invented
. This was one such instance where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
decided to intervene and decided to charge fines for those individuals who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
using such bags.

Considering, the above scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
laws in the country regarding waste management.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Packaging
of various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
cannot
be avoided
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
arrangements can
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pile of scrap which can be
quickly
created to manures by segregating dry garbage and wet garbage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Packaging
boxes
are made
of cardboard which can be
easily
recycled
as well
.
Also
, bio-degradable stuff should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wherever possible.

In conclusion
, waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are increasing as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are buying more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Production
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
are required
and cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to mitigate the requirement of useless garbage by introducing proper waste management policies.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In your opinion, which modern invention or scientific discovery has affected society the most? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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