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In western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v.1

In western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v. 1
The life exists on earth is a gift of God and created by nature. It does not matter that the living being is wild animal or human. Everyone is playing their own role in the biological food cycle. So, accordingly, shelter of the wild species of animals is worth and not considered as wastage of money. Let us discuss in the essay. First and foremost, animals are playing an equally important role in the nature's beauty. Now a day, a lot of animals are being killed in the making of cloths and fibres. For example, many of clothing industries are making mats, carpets and jackets with the skin and hairs of the animals. As a result, a number of species are getting extinct. If this is continually happening for the longest time, then it gradually affects the environment and the biological cycle. The government should have to take some strong steps towards the preservation of these endangered species and initiate some funding for the wildlife shelter. Secondly, there is a group of wildlife scientist, who is working to save the endangered species by preserving their genome. Moreover, there should have some protecting agencies for safe the animals from hunters. The government has to make some more wild life centuries and open zoos for the species are in danger. For example, the Tiger is a national animal of the India, if it got extinct, then it will be a big loss of our country. To conclude, spending of money on the protection of the wild species is worth, because they all are the beauty of the nature and also represent our country as a national animal. Because every living being on this earth is a beautiful creature of the God.
The life exists on earth is a gift of God and created by nature. It does not matter that the living being is wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
or human. Everyone is playing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
role in the biological food cycle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
accordingly
, shelter of the wild species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is worth and not considered as wastage of money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us discuss in the essay.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are playing an
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the nature's beauty.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being killed
in the making of cloths and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibres' is British English.
fibres
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of clothing industries are making mats, carpets and jackets with the skin and hairs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
As a result
, a number of species are getting extinct. If this is
continually
happening for the longest time, then it
gradually
affects the environment and the biological cycle. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong steps towards the preservation of these endangered species and initiate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funding for the wildlife shelter.

Secondly
, there is a group of wildlife scientist, who is working to save the endangered species by preserving their genome.
Moreover
, there should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
protecting agencies for safe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from hunters. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more wild life centuries and open zoos for the species are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
For example
, the Tiger is a national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
of the India, if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
extinct, then it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
loss of our country.

To conclude
, spending of money on the protection of the wild species is worth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they all are the beauty of the nature and
also
represent our country as a national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
every living being on this earth is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
creature of the God.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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