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In today's world, the pressures of modern life are negatively impacting family life. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In today's world, the pressures of modern life are negatively impacting family life. v. 1
In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students choosing to study science in universities and colleges. This problem happens due to some reasons, and it can have some adverse impacts on society. I am ready to venture and pursue a speculative hypothesis beyond any limits typically imposed by a culture of safe, well established or academically sanctioned debates. At the same time just as crucially, it is conceived as subject to the strictest, most demanding standards of formal assessment, with respect to basic requirements of logical rigour and conceptual precision. This is controversial apprehension is valid. I provide an interesting character to exemplify the essential elements to justify my claim. In my perspective, I believe most of the students do not choose science subjects in universities. That is manifested in numerous ways within the broad spectrum of areas. Now we are in sophisticated technology and the business world. Because of that, most of the students have been chosen technical or business subjects behalf of the science. The students who have been chosen science subject, they should have more mathematical knowledge as well as the calculation ability. These subjects are usually more difficult and demanding, which requires students to put much effort into their As an illustration, to be a doctor student should devote five years in graduation. To be specialized they have to sacrifice more time. These are the major repercussions behind not selecting science as a subject. The effect of that, society will be a scarcity of human capital in science field, scientists, biologist, chemist. That could create an imbalance in the society. On the other hand, non science students have to face huge competition for their jobs. It will directly impact with a higher rate of unemployment. So, under certain circumstances, it is plausible to evaluate that, not enough students choose science subjects at university, that may never facilitate as a sophisticated and reliable remedy to foster the prosperity of society by catering paradoxical repercussions.
In several parts of the world, there is
currently
a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in universities and colleges. This problem happens due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, and it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse impacts on society.

I am ready to venture and pursue a speculative hypothesis beyond any limits
typically
imposed by a culture of safe, well established or
academically
sanctioned debates. At the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
crucially
, it
is conceived
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to the strictest, most demanding standards of formal assessment, with respect to basic requirements of logical
Possible spelling mistake. 'rigour' is British English.
rigour
and conceptual precision. This is controversial apprehension is valid. I provide an interesting character to exemplify the essential elements to justify my claim.

In my perspective, I believe most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in universities. That
is manifested
in numerous ways within the broad spectrum of areas.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we are in sophisticated technology and the business world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
been chosen
technical or business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
behalf of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have
been chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, they should have more mathematical knowledge
as well
as the calculation ability. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
usually
more difficult and demanding, which requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to put much effort into their As an illustration, to be a doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should devote five years in graduation. To
be specialized
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice more time. These are the major repercussions behind not selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as a subject.

The effect of that, society will be a scarcity of human capital in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field, scientists, biologist, chemist. That could create an imbalance in the society.
On the other hand
, non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face huge competition for their jobs. It will
directly
impact with a higher rate of unemployment.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, under certain circumstances, it is plausible to evaluate that, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at university, that may never facilitate as a sophisticated and reliable remedy to foster the prosperity of society by catering paradoxical repercussions.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In today's world, the pressures of modern life are negatively impacting family life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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