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In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v.6

In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 6
In this modern era of continual scientific and technological advancement, artists are still gaining a lot of respect from people the world over. There are a number of things about life that the arts can teach us that science and technology fail to. Many forms of art, especially literature, can deliver messages about the appreciation of what we have in life as well as life itself. Hundreds of literary works depict misery, misfortune and sorrow that still exist in life today, and this sends a strong message to those who do not appreciate their lives. “The Goldfinch”, for example, which narrates a story about the miserable life of the main character after the unfortunate death of his mother makes us wonder whether we have become heartless toward our own loved ones. I doubt that there are any technologies in the world that could manage to convey such a powerful message. The arts teach us to cherish the beauty of culture and is the fuel for our spiritual lives. This is extremely important in a world where science and technology seem to fade our belief in the gravity of culture in daily life. The connection between art and culture is boundless, and traditional music and ancient paintings can remind us of where we came from and who we are. That is to say, our cultural identity is preserved in various forms of art. Although science and technology advance our understanding of all things and better our lives, the arts can touch us to a much deeper extent, help us value what we have, and remind us of the significance of our culture.
In this modern era of continual scientific and technological advancement, artists are
still
gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
respect from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the world over. There are a number of things about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can teach us that science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
fail to.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
especially
literature, can deliver messages about the appreciation of what we have in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
itself. Hundreds of literary works depict misery, misfortune and sorrow that
still
exist in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
a strong message to those who do not appreciate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. “The Goldfinch”,
for example
, which narrates a story about the miserable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the main character after the unfortunate death of his mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us wonder whether we have become heartless toward our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. I doubt that there are any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in the world that could manage to convey such a powerful message.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
teach us to cherish the beauty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and is the fuel for our spiritual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in a world where science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
seem to fade our belief in the gravity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is boundless, and traditional music and ancient paintings can remind us of where we came from and who we are.
That is
to say, our cultural identity
is preserved
in various forms of art.

Although science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advance our understanding of all things and better our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can touch us to a much deeper extent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us value what we have, and remind us of the significance of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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